Cheap Bastid's Foodie Tuesday: Chocolate Covered BACON!

I love chocolate. (Who doesn’t). And, I love bacon. (Who doesn’t)? Not long ago I came across a post about combining these 2 delectable flavors and it instantly made my mouth water. I checked it out online and found a source:

Mo’s Bacon Bar by Vosge’s. It’s $7.50 for a 1 oz bar online.

So I got looking some more and came up with other places which do this delicacy like Marini’s Chocolate Covered Bacon in Santa Cruz, CA. Look at the photo below and notice that it’s $4.50 for a quarter pound. That comes out to $18 a pound! Wow!

So I told myself, “Self, you can do this yourself!” And yesterday I did. And it’s both easy and GOOOOOOOOOOD! Cheap Bastid did it and had never worked with chocolate before!!

Chocolate Covered Bacon
Bacon
Chocolate (I used semi-sweet chips but you can also use a chopped up bar or baking chocolate)

How much? First, however much bacon you want. A half pound; a full pound, whatever. Whatever kind of bacon you like. Thick sliced works better and smoked bacon gives the best taste. But my $2.00 pound “store brand” bacon did just fine for a first attempt.

And then start off with about a cup of chocolate for a half pound, maybe a cup and a half for a full pound. (If you’re using chocolate chips you can start a bit low and then add more).

Cut the bacon strips in half. Fry the bacon either in a skillet where you can keep it flat or on a cookie sheet and parchment paper in the oven at about 375. Get it as well done as you want although you might want to avoid the level of crispiness where it shatters. Drain and cool on paper towels.

Set up a double boiler—I used a small metal mixing bowl in a sauce pan of simmering water. Put in the chocolate and let it melt stirring as it softens. Or, you could melt it in the microwave.

I used a silicone basting brush to “paint” the chocolate on the bacon. If I were doing a half pound or more I would put the melted chocolate in a flat bottom dish and dip the bacon into it. Put the bacon either on parchment paper or, I used a cooling rack with a silicone mat underneath.

Transfer the chocolate coated bacon to the fridge for about a half hour. Then enjoy the smokey, chocolaty, sweet, salty goodness that caresses your palate and makes your mouth happy!

It’s that easy. And, it'll cost about $3.50 to do half a pound of bacon. Cheap Bastid wins again!

BONUS for Foodie Tuesday!!!

Keeping Your Grill Clean

This weekend is the 4th of July. Many of us will be grilling. This morning I saw a commercial for using “Pam” spray on a grill. Please don’t waste your Pam that way. The vast majority of what you spray will just go up in the air or into the grilling area not on the grill itself. Here are a couple of options:

Start with a clean grill! Use a brush on a hot grill to get the crud off it (brass bristle that you can buy in the paint department of Home Depot, Lowe’s or WalMart works great and is cheaper).

If you want to oil your grill, take a paper towel and fold it into 4ths, drizzle a couple of teaspoons of oil on it, fold it one more time and then use your long handled brush to rub the oiled paper towel rapidly over the grill. (Be quick, I’ve burned up a bunch of oily paper towels in my day). Then let your grill continue to heat and start cooking.

Or, one of the things that Bobby Flay says constantly is to oil the food not the grill. Rub a thin skim of oil onto your food with your fingers or a brush.

Or, just make sure that your grill is hot and clean. The main reason people oil their grill is to keep food from sticking. If your food is sticking, it’s because it’s not ready to be turned yet. Wait another 30 seconds or minute and try again. When it’s ready to turn, it will release! I can’t tell you the number of hamburgers I’ve demolished trying to flip them too soon until I learned to just wait another 30 seconds to minute and try again. (If it’s burned when you flip it that means you’re using too much heat).

Have a fantastic 4th of July. And if you get the chance, listen to Jimmy Buffett’s “The Night They Painted the Sky” a ballad about fireworks on the 4th of July.
http://mog.com/music/Jimmy_Buffett/Barometer_Soup/The_Night_I_Painted_the_Sky

Michael and Billy Unlikely Companions at the Pearly Gates

My wife and I had a couple of conversations over the weekend about the recent spate of celebrity passings (isn’t that a nice euphemism?).

And, in looking at the media yesterday and this morning, Billy Mays is seemingly but a hiccup in the news which has been dominated by the demise of Michael Jackson.

It seems as though every celebrity has weighed in on Michael Jackson from Elizabeth Taylor to Diana Ross to lesser luminaries. Rev. Jesse Jackson and his congressman son visited and I saw a report that today Rev. Al Sharpton was visiting too.

But little has been noted about Billy Mays other than that he was a professional huckster and family man in Tampa, FL.

I don’t know why this bothers me but it does. Michael Jackson was famous starting in the 70’s and got huge in the 80’s and then spiraled downward over the last decade with bizarre behavior and criminal legal issues. He appealed to the voyeur in us, our curiosity and occasional revulsion. He was viewed remotely and vicariously as someone larger than life, unapproachable and mysterious somewhat akin to Howard Hughes during his declining years.

What Carolyn and I were talking about though was that for some reason we were more bummed about Billy Mays than Michael or Farrah or Ed McMahon. Maybe it has something to do with the idea that Billy Mays was someone we saw on TV every single day making a pitch at us. We came up with the idea that he always seemed approachable more like a real person with a real life.

He was someone more like us. But someone who had achieved celebrity. Celebrity in a “knife demonstration at the County Fair kind of way, but celebrity just the same. In other words, we liked him—in the way you like your next door neighbor or the guy who sits behind you at your kid’s basketball game.

But the world wants to go “boo-hoo” over Michael Jackson. Fifty million copies of “Thriller” were bought a number that record industry experts suggest will never be eclipsed or approached largely because of changes in how music is purchased (i.e. i-Tunes).

But Billy Mays did exactly what he claimed to do. He sold stuff that people need, which will make their lives just a bit easier. Like OxiClean or Quik Chop or What Odor, all kinds of thing. He did it in a style that was loud and brash while at the same time being friendly and direct with just a bit of “tongue in cheek” suggesting that neither he nor you should take all this too seriously. I would imagine that the airwaves will be just a bit quieter for a while as companies and products come up with new spots to sell their products. (Hire ME! I’m looking for work!)

So that’s it. Hopefully this week will be a better one for celebrities some of whom may have already started to look over their shoulders after last week’s surprising roll call. MJ was in a sense a pitiable figure hoping for a comeback. But Mays was a real guy with a twinkle in his eye and perhaps just a touch of larceny thrown in to boot. They’ll both be missed.

WTF? Redneck Preacher Invites Flock to Bring Guns to Church

While you read this, you may want to be mentally singing the old gospel song: “Give me that old time religion. Give me that old time religion. Give me that old time religion, it’s good enough for me.”

New Bethel Church in Louisville, Ky is welcoming “responsible handgun owners” to wear their firearms inside the church Saturday, June 27. An ad for the event said that there will be a handgun raffle, patriotic music and information on gun safety.

"We're just going to celebrate the upcoming theme of the birth of our nation," said pastor Ken Pagano. "And we're not ashamed to say that there was a strong belief in God and firearms — without that this country wouldn't be here."

Pastor Ken Pagano, New Bethel Church, Louisville, KY

This is the church's way of celebrating the 4th of July and the 2nd Amendment to the Constitution, according to Pagano, a former Marine and weapons instructor.

Guns must be unloaded and private security will check visitors at the door of the church.

A network TV Saturday morning news show interviewed Pagano today. He said during the interview that it was not uncommon during the time when the constitution was being framed for gunracks to be present at a church for parishoners to store their weapon while worshipping. While that may have made sense in the 18th century, it certainly doesn't today.

Here's a video from Suckstbeyoublog.com with some suggestions for today's festivities at New Bethel Church:

Airplanes & Politics: The V-22 Osprey is Scary!

The San Diego Union Tribune and the North County Times in northern San Diego County ran news articles on June 24 about the tilt-rotor V-22 Osprey—the aircraft which takes off and lands like a helicopter but flies like a plane.

V-22 Osprey in flight

This aircraft first flew in 1989 and, to date, has cost $28.8 billion. And it just went into active service late last year. The Osprey has been “tested” in Iraq although did not fly on any combat missions. So far it has not been deployed to Afghanistan.

Conversations have come up recently about the F-22 Raptor and its future with the Air Force, especially since it is primarily an air superiority aircraft in an age when that has not been an issue. This incredibly expensive piece of hardware is the beneficiary of an attempt by some members of congress to buy additional units. Pres. Obama has threatened to veto a defense appropriations bill if it includes funding for additional F22s which the military has not requested.

But the Osprey is more problematic. It is supposed to replace 2 highly reliable but aging helicopters, the twin rotor CH-46 Sea Knight and the CH-53 Sea Stallion currently used by the Marines and Navy. These helicopters have been around since Viet Nam. The most important thing about them though is that they work!

CH-53 Sea Stallion

From a military point of view, the United States is far more likely to be in a conflict requiring “boots on the ground” than air superiority. We are far more likely to have to land Marines by air assault and to then support those troops than to engage in aerial “dog fights”. Those Marines and soldiers deserve the best support that is possible to provide. Support that works and facilitates their mission.

CH-46 Sea Knight

Here are some scary things about the Osprey (according to the Union Tribune and North County Times articles):

The Osprey was originally specified to carry 24 troops, however heavier troop equipment has reduced that to 20 and the planned installation of a gun in the Osprey’s belly to improve its defense would reduce that to 18.

The Osprey has an operating ceiling of 10,000 feet (apparently because of problems with the aircraft’s de-icing system). In Afghanistan, many peaks are over 12,000 feet in height.

The cost of operating the Osprey has more than doubled from original estimates and is now $11,000 per hour, twice what it cost for the CH-46. And the cost per aircraft has increased more than 148 percent from $37.7 million when first launched in 1985 to $93.4 million today. And remember, when close to the ground in landing or take-off mode, the aircraft is highly vulnerable to some dude with a rocket propelled grenade being able to shoot it down for about $100!

“It can’t land without power—a vital maneuver called autorotation that saved thousands of lives in Vietnam—without the danger of flipping into its own downwash. It isn’t capable of maneuvering in combat conditions.” (Union Tribune)

V-22 Osprey in Iraq

Rep. Edolphus Towns, D-NY was quoted in the Union Tribune article as saying: “It can’t be used in hot weather. It can’t be used in cold weather. It can’t be used in sand. The list of what the Osprey can’t do is longer than what it can do.” Towns chairs the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform which is investigating the cost overruns and mechanical problems of the Osprey.

The Government Accountability Office has “recommended a new analysis of the military’s needs” in terms of the Osprey program projected to cost $75 billion over the 30-year program cost. Of course, part of the question is when did the program start? 1985? In that case it only has 6 years to go and so far no widespread deployment of the aircraft.

It is scheduled to be deployed to Miramar Marine Airbase and Camp Pendleton. Miramar in San Diego and Pendleton 40 miles north of San Diego.

The F-22 Raptor can fulfill its mission. The debate is about the relevance and cost of the mission. Few doubt the relevance of the V-22 Osprey’s mission. The Osprey is a cool-looking aircraft. But cool-looking doesn’t get the mission of the Marine Corps accomplished.

(Note: All photos from Google Images)

Cheap Bastid's Foodie Tuesday: Middle Eastern Flatbread Pizza

Money’s been tight at Cheap Bastid’s place. So, occasionally I’ve been making homemade pizza. The hardest part of that is making the crust. It takes some practice to start getting the crust to come out edible. But it’s an inexpensive way to make pizza at about $1.00 for the crust (compared to about $3.50 for a Boboli).

I prefer my pizza crust thin and crispy rather than a “New York” style. But that’s a matter of taste. Recently though we came up with a really inexpensive and delicious way to get an almost perfect thin pizza crust really cheap (and of course I like the cheap part).

We’ve been enjoying Middle Eastern flat bread lately. I can pick up a bag of 8 pieces for 99 cents (at the 99 cent store, of course). The other night I decided to use pieces of it as a pizza crust. And it worked great!

Here’s how I did it:

Crust:
Use 4 pieces of Middle Eastern flat bread for plenty of pizza for 2.
Pre-heat oven to 400
Put the pieces of bread on a cookie sheet and brush a very thin coat of oil. Then pop that in the oven for about 2 minutes.

Toppings:
I use a small can (about 5-6 oz.) of tomato sauce and then add spices to it. Garlic powder, cumin & oregano. Then spread a couple of tablespoons on each crust.
Top with a small handful of shredded mozzarella or jack cheese (your preference).
Top with whatever else you want—pepperoni, ground beef, ground sausage, and other veggies.

Bake in oven at 400 for 8-10 minutes until done (I like to use the broiler the last 2 minutes to brown the cheese a bit).
Top with parmesan and red chili flakes if desired.

It’s just that simple. One of things I noticed though is that pepperoni runs about $7 a pound so it’s kind of pricey. I can do Italian sausage for about $2.25 a pound or hamburger for about $1.75 a pound. That way the cheese is the most expensive part. And by the way, the tomato sauce in the small can runs about 50 cents—lots cheaper than jarred pizza sauce or jarred spaghetti sauce.

So, for pizza for 2 the total price (if you use Italian sausage) will be about $3.75. And that’s generously topped and enough pizza to get stuffed. It's not fancy. It's not gourmet. And perhaps not even original. But it's inexpensive and it's good.

Now, here’s a bonus—Cheap Bastid’s All Time Favorite Pizza:
Pepperoni, sliced tomatoes, jalapenos and feta cheese! (No sauce!) It’s an incredible combination and because there’s no sauce, it’s pretty nutritious.

Enjoy!

You Have to Love Your Kids; It's Even Better to Like Them!

You don’t have to like your kids, but you do have to love them. I heard that or read that a while ago (maybe it was from John Rosemond but I’m not sure of the source).

Think about it. There’s a lot of time when you don’t really like the little crapperheads based on something they may have done or some quirk of their personality or behavior. But you absolutely have to love them.

I’ve made several postings lately about my children, things in their childhood and small things in their lives which say something about my feelings or which bring on a smile. Today, I’m going to touch on the best thing. The absolute best time I ever had with my kids.


Mike and Susan at Mike's Wedding Rehearsal Dinner

It was 2004. I had been living in Southern California for 6 years and my kids lived in the Midwest. Mike was 22 and Susan 20. Mike lived with his fiancé in Ames, Iowa and Susan 30 miles away in Des Moines, still at home with her Mom.

I had to travel to Detroit for a weeklong training meeting and decided to take a couple of extra days and stop over in Des Moines to see the kids. I was able to spend some time with each of them individually and on Saturday night have dinner with them, with Mike’s fiancé and with Susan’s boyfriend in Ames.

I cooked steaks on the grill at Mike’s apartment and we had dinner together, talking and chatting, getting to know Susan’s boyfriend and getting better acquainted with Mike’s fiancé, Katie. We played some cards and all in all had a terrific evening.

It didn’t dawn on me until the next day when I was flying on to Detroit and thinking on the airplane about my kids and how much I missed them and loved them. This grand epiphany was that I genuinely liked my children. I really liked them as people, not just my kids. I really enjoyed their company, their personalities, their outlook, the way they thought and conversed and laughed. I LIKED them!

And I admired them. I admired the young adults they had become. Self-confident, articulate, responsible adults who you would be proud to call your friend.

It didn’t make any difference in how much I loved them. But I was proud of my kids. And how they had turned out OK without their Father in their everyday lives (obviously their Mother had done a good job).

We all know what a pain in the butt kids can be—particularly teenagers. It perhaps shouldn’t amaze us when they turn into great adults. But, to me it’s fantastic to really like the person that they’ve become and to know that, no matter what, they’re going to be all right.

And, to quote Forrest Gump: “That’s all I’ve got to say about tha-at.”

"Pajamas" and Nightly Questions

There’s something about a freshly bathed child, dressed in a “onesie” ready for bed. It’s storytime followed by tuck-in time. Or at our house Pajamas time.

Many were the nights that I performed this “duty” when my children were little. My attitude was that I couldn’t nurse my babies but I could bathe them and get them ready for bed allowing my wife a well-deserved respite. (She would have taken care of the kids while I fixed dinner and I would get them ready for bed while she cleaned up from dinner).

I could go on for pages about the number of times that each Dr. Seuss or Berenstain Bear book was read. (Susan was always partial to the Berenstain Bears and Mike preferred Dr. Seuss). I loved the way the kids smelled freshly scrubbed, powdered and diapered with just a hint of formula on their breath.

From the time Mike (2 years older) was an infant until Susan was 7 or 8 tuck-in time was always followed by a song—one of my all time favorite kids songs. It’s off the late 70’s album “In Harmony” which was produced by Sesame Street. This magical album (which I wore out twice on “vinyl” and once on cassette and you can get it now on CD) featured the Doobie Brothers, Bette Midler, James Taylor, Carlie Simon, Al Jarreau, Linda Ronstadt, George Benson plus Ernie and Cookie Monster.




My favorite song though was written and performed by Livingston Taylor and it’s called “Pajamas”.

I sang this song to my kids every night for years. There were times when I had an evening meeting and I would get out of it in time to tuck the kids in and sing to them. Sometimes I left the meeting, went home for my nightly ritual and then returned to the meeting. (Small towns seem to be a bit more tolerant of this element of life).

I still love this delightful little song. Here are the lyrics:

Pajamas
By Livingston Taylor

I've got my pajamas on
Before I go to bed I'm going to run around.
I'm standing on my head
And the world is upside down.

Me and Wilson, my teddy bear
We're going to do a lot of wiggling
Before we go upstairs
Watch out you lions you tigers you bears
I've got my pajamas on

Mommy said put 'em on
I said no
Daddy said let's go
I said all right
I'm clean and I'm warm
and I'm out of sight
I've got my pajamas on

I'm in Daddy's lap, fading fast
Wilson, if you want to mess around
You'll have to do it alone
I love being little
And I'll love being grown
I've got my pajamas on.

Here’s a link to a sample of the song on Artist Direct:
http://www.artistdirect.com/nad/window/media/page/0,,106395-12233316,00.html

There was another part of the nightly ritual. It was called “Questions”. I really wanted my children to know—to absolutely know—as the last thing they heard from me at night that they were loved. No matter what. If they had been naughty during the day or cranky. (Or if I had been either of those things too). They should go to sleep feeling safe and secure and cherished.

I would tuck them each in—for a while they shared a bedroom—and kneel on the floor looking at my children, ready to drift off. I would softly ask the questions as they were snuggling in and drifting off, answers coming back at me more slowly and softly as sleep overtook them.

“Does Mommy love Mikey and Susan?”
“Does Daddy love Mikey and Susan?”
“Does Eric (their brother) love Mikey and Susan?”
“Do Grandma and Grandpa and Grandma and Grandpa love Mikey and Susan?”
“Does puppy dog Shorts love Mikey and Susan?”
“Does everyone love Mikey and Susan?”
“Is it time to go night-night?”
“Are you going to see happy pictures when you sleep?”
“What kind of pictures are you going to see?”

Go to sleep and see your pictures.
Night, night. I love you

They would drift off with the look of innocent children on their faces. I would kiss each of them goodnight, turn off the light and slip out of their rooms. Checking back a little later just to see them again; asleep, at peace, hopefully dreaming “happy pictures”.

I miss doing that. It was always incredibly relaxing for me too. The last time I asked Questions was when my daughter was about 19, lonely and down and she called one night. Because she wanted Questions. I was delighted to oblige. And I still am.