Cheap Bastid Chewing on "The Chew" and Blasting Yahoo

Cheap Bastid has done enough Cheap Bastidly cooking and writing by now to be entitled to express an opinion or two. So that’s what I’m going to do today.

I’m going to take a swipe at ABC’s new food show “The Chew”, a cutsey play on “The View”, and take a swipe at an insipid piece that showed up yesterday on Yahoo finance.

First, “The Chew”. This new show features Karla Hall who was a contestant on Top Chef along with Food Network Iron Chefs Mario Batalli and Michael Symon. It’s been on for a little over a month now. And it’s all right although a bit vapid. They’ve even made some efforts at showing how to cook good food fast and on a budget.

But yesterday they managed to pretty much alienate me with their snarky, almost condescending, take on “Southern Cooking”. Sure, they paid some lip service to the traditions of Southern or country cooking but they also managed to insert a recorded “Yeehaw” everytime they mentioned the theme or took a commercial break.

Hey jackasses, southern or country cooking is the epitome of making food dollars stretch. It’s not fancy but its inexpensive and filling and good and, most importantly, is usually made with more pinches of love than the paid shills manage to add.

To stand up in front of America spewing fake southern/country/Texas accents in the cause of entertainment demeans what they do and disrespects the food that they’re supposed to be extolling.

Certainly it’s entertainment but there are people from all over watching—not just foodies from the East coast. I thought it was offensive. Oh, and remember when earlier I said the show was all right? Too bad, because their audience (including me, at least for now) deserves something better than “all right”.

Now on to Yahoo. There was an article yesterday in Yahoo Finance—Financially Fit titled “How to Feed a Family on $15 a Day”. OK, not bad. It got my attention—I’m the Cheap Bastid. Fifteen bucks seems a bit generous, but it’s for a family of 4.

The article rubbed me the wrong way with its lead which said that the “average family of four” spends upwards of $1200 a month on groceries. Say what? The author was citing data from the USDA on monthly food costs—the $1200 a month comes from the column titled “Liberal Plan”. Even the “Thrifty Plan” at $615 per month struck me as high.

More particularly, the author was interviewing some expert who had “stopped by her kitchen” to share some advice. This expert, Allison Fishman, contributing editor to “Cooking Light”. Fishman was right when she said the important thing is to plan menus and plan shopping. I started doing that when my kids were little. Planning a menu prior to shopping was the key to making sure that ingredients were on hand and, even better, it had the result of significantly reducing the total grocery bill.

But Fishman was also suggesting that meat be used “almost like a condiment” rather than as the main feature of a meal. Huh? Meat, a condiment? She suggested that beef at $5.99 a pound and chicken breast at $5 per pound was out of reach for many to be able to provide other than a sampling of it in a meal.

That’s all well and good. But where the hell is she buying her boneless, skinless chicken breast? I pay $1.97 a pound for it. The same with beef. I now buy “lesser” cuts such as bottom round (London Broil). I can get ground beef for about $2.50 a pound by having my grocer’s meat department grind it for me when chuck or round is on special. And maybe Southern California (or at least my neighborhood) isn’t as expensive as someplace like New York City but it’s still plenty expensive.

The way this expert was presenting herself, I kind of got the impression that she was trying to educate the ignorant masses to eat a diet based on beans and squash and legumes along with using the same chicken bone for a couple of weeks to flavor the meager soups.

The “average family” spends far less than $1200 a month on food. The average family spends less than $600 a month on food. Who are they kidding. And this kind of advice does little, if anything, to enlighten or encourage or educate. What it does instead is frustrate and infuriate.

And Cheap Bastid sees that as a disservice not as being helpful.

Cheap Bastid's Tomato Crop

Well, like I mentioned a while ago, I put 4 pots of tomato plants out on my balcony a couple of months ago. And I’ve been salivating at the idea of fresh, deep red, juicy Romas and grape tomatoes.


I don't have much of a green thumb. I tend to “love” the plants too much, puttzing around and over-watering. I guess that’s why the lower leaves turned yellow and dropped off. I was giving them an inch of water about once a week. Of course, here in SoCal we don’t get an inch of rain between Easter and Thanksgiving so that was a bit much. I quit watering them for a week and they perked up. And now, I’m giving them sips every 3 days or so and I added some nitrogen fertilizer. They seem to be doing better.

So, the first tomato turned a gorgeous deep red and had just the right firmness hinting at the acidy-sweet deliciousness inside. I lovingly harvested it and took it inside to the kitchen, rinsed it off in a bath of cool refreshing water and placed it on my cutting board.


Taking out my sharpest knife, I cut it into perfect, round, succulent slices watching as each one separated and leaned against its neighbor.


Next I prepped some lettuce for a green salad with tomatoes. Then I sliced bread, cheese and salami for the perfect sandwich.

Assembly completed, I paused to admire the simplicity of my gastronomic handiwork. A perfect sandwich accompanied by a perfect salad. Flavors balanced. A bit of bread and cheese and meat complimented by the earthy goodness of the freshly harvested fruit of my gardening.

And, now for the reality of my tomatoey lunch:





Sometimes when you eat what you harvest, it’s not a very big meal. But homegrown, freshly harvested tomatoes are always the best. And there’s a whole bunch more just about ready to pick, this time enough for a “real” salad and sandwich.

Hopefully, I gotcha and you enjoyed this little bit of fun.

The Cheap Bastid Way--My "Philosophy" on Food and Cooking

I have Open Salon to thank for Cheap Bastid. Shortly after joining the site I discovered this thing called “Foodie Tuesday”. So I posted a couple of recipes. Now, my recipes aren’t fancy. They are neither as complex nor elegant nor photogenic as many of the “Foodie Tuesday” posts. But I liked them. I think my first one was titled “They Call Me Mr. Gravy”.

At the time I was unemployed and we were living out of our meager savings. So, frugality was a necessity. My wife and I shared some laughs over this. We’d see recipes by “foodies” and talk about how it wasn’t really something that someone on a limited budget could or would do. My own cooking was changing to reflect our more modest lifestyle. And as it changed Carolyn would tease me for being such a “Cheap Bastid”—of course oftentimes the teasing would come while eating something delicious, but inexpensive.

My first “inspiration” was from “Sam the Cooking Guy”, Sam Zien here in San Diego. He would take limited ordinary ingredients and make quick and tasty dishes. But I had 2 differences with Sam—one, he would use too many “convenience” ingredients such as pre-cooked bacon that raised the cost of the meal and two, he became all about his “quirky” personality and less about the food.

So with her encouragement, I started to think and write as the “Cheap Bastid”. And what I discovered that it was fun to adapt dishes for absolute frugality. It was fun to resurrect some of the meals from my childhood and from when I was cooking for my kids every evening and show how they could be used to stretch a dollar into gossamer threads of taffy.

Here’s a few rules or “philosophical” tidbits that I follow as the “Cheap Bastid”:

• It’s a lot cheaper to cook and eat at home than to go out, drive thru or get carry-out.

• It’s a lot healthier to cook and eat at home than to go out, drive thru or get carry-out.

• Eating at home is all about the food AND all about family

• 15 minutes of planning before shopping will save you a lot of money. Make a list. Stick to it.

• Buy fresh produce and use it!

• When stuff is on sale—stock up!

• Buy your meat in quantity and then “break it down” into smaller packages for the freezer.

• Use your slow cooker and your grill. Make a big enough roast for a couple of different meals—not just reheated dried-out left-overs.

• Have a pantry well stocked with “staples” and a spice cupboard well stocked with spices.

• Don’t buy pre-mixed spice blends. They’re too pricey and have way too much salt.

• Get creative. Research various recipes and come up with your own versions.

• Teach yourself to do some baking. Cake mixes are cheap but pre-made pie crust and filling is expensive. Homemade bisquits are cheap and good.

• Prep first, then cook. Always! That’s what Tom Colicchio calls “mis en place”.

• A corollary to prep first, then cook is—clean as you go! Don’t turn the kitchen into a disaster area.

• Food is for eating not for looking at so you don’t have to make it “foo-foo” pretty. “Foo-foo” foodie food isn’t supposed to go up onto the side of the plate. Cheap Bastid food does.

• Be like “Gunny Highway”—Improvise, Adapt, Overcome

• Being frugal—a Cheap Bastid—becomes addictive and fun! Or is that obsessive? I’m not sure.

• And, last but not least—don’t forget the most important ingredient of all—a little pinch of love.

That’s it. This can help you save money and enjoy cooking as much as you enjoy eating. Now, some of you will be able to be like “the Neeley’s” and make cooking together a seductive, sensuous adventure. Carolyn and I have a hard time sharing the kitchen together—we’re both too territorial. We’ll pitch-in if the other needs an extra hand for something but then we kind of back out and cede the territory back to the one in the kitchen. It keeps the peace.

And of course there’s one last thing to say:

That’s the Cheap Bastid Way: Eat Good. Eat Cheap. Be Grateful.