Zombies, A Question of Ethics? Or Maybe Political Paranoia

I had a good time writing a post the other day on Zombie Awareness Month. There’s a political angle to it too with “Zombie aficionados” occasionally suggesting that the Zombie take-over may have already occurred in politics. I have to admit that it would certainly explain a lot of things here and around the world.

But this is about something else, though related.

I also wrote a blogpost a couple of weeks ago expressing outrage over a Southern California Republican party official, Marilyn Davenport, who e-mailed a decidedly unflattering and racist (at least by “liberal” consensus) photograph of Pres. Obama as simian to friends and Republican colleagues and claimed that it was innocent humor. You remember the photo, right? Here it is again:



So what’s the connection here? Well, my slightly demented brain suggested to me that zombies and politics might be related. (Wouldn’t that be a more than plausible explanation for the “Tea Baggers”?)


So I thought to myself, “Self, maybe there’s some faked zombie pictures out there of politicians. Wouldn’t it be funny to find a zombie photo of Sarah Palin?” (See, I talk to myself when I try to write).

And guess what, there are a bunch of zombie photos of Sarah Palin. And maybe it’s my liberal side coming out but I didn’t think that they were as “mean-spirited” or racially themed as the zombie photos of Barak Obama (are you surprised at all that there are zombie photos of Obama? Naw, I didn’t think you’d be surprised). And hell, there are even Osama Bin Laden zombie photos.

So I pulled one off Google Images and inserted it into my blogpost. It wasn’t the most ghoulish but it satisfied my inner smartass. Here’s the photo:


I thought it was really funny—especially located just after a Zombie Uncle Sam photo.

And then I got to thinking (contrary to what my wife or employer would say, yes indeed, I do think occasionally).

I thought, “wait a minute here Walt, you were outraged over a photo showing Obama as a simian. Isn’t this the same thing? Does it make a difference that you respect Obama and don’t respect Palin? Hmmmm?”

And I thought again, “who gives a rat’s behind, this is freedom of expression and humor or satire.” So I dropped the photo into my blogpost, giggling to myself as I did it. “I’m so clever; this is funny,” I thought to myself.

And then another thought crossed my mind which created a scenario compelling enough to convince me to eliminate the Sarah Palin zombie picture. I thought to myself, “Self, this person is a politician probably running for President. She’s a ‘whacko’. You could end up like this:”

This was because the last piece of “art” was a poster which said this:

“Self, Palin is enough of a whacko that this could easily be considered as a threat or a suggestion that someone shoot her in the head to destroy her brain. She’s a (shudder to think of it) ‘national political figure’. You could be detained, interrogated and arrested.” I got images of waterboarding and Guantanamo. I saw myself being questioned by Lenny and Green until I confessed—confessed to what I don’t know.

So, I pulled it out of the post. I found a “poster” of Obama, Biden, McCain and Palin as zombies. Hooray for me! Equal opportunity Zombies!

OK, so now I know. The “simian” photo of Obama was offensive. Arguably the zombie photo of Palin is offensive too (as are zombie photos of Obama). But, a zombie photo of Obama, Biden, McCain and Palin…now that’s funny. And it’s different from the others. That’s poking fun at politicians and the process not at the individual. I’m glad I found it.

Self-censorship is one thing. Censorship because you’re worried that the FBI or Secret Service might come and break down your door is something else. It’s a bit scary. And, even though I call Palin a whacko, there are enough super whacky-whackos out there that some idiot might have taken it literally. And that’s doubly scary.

A Little Car Talk

Pretty much everyone who knows me knows that I spent the last dozen years working in the car industry—selling them, training people how to sell them, consulting with dealers on how to be more efficient and profitable. So, I thought I’d spew forth some thoughts on the industry, its ailments and what would help.

We know that GM and Chrysler are on the brink. Ford is shaky. Toyota lost money last year. If Honda made money, it wasn’t much. VW is now making noises that it wants to grow to become the top auto manufacturer in the world. Lots of turmoil and changes.

Even when things were going pretty well, people had quit buying vehicles from American manufacturers. The reason was pretty simple, for too long the Detroit 3 didn’t make very good vehicles, put its priority on SUVs even when gas got to $4 a gallon and in general didn’t do a very good job. Then the economy went down the toilet and people just quit buying. It crippled an already wounded Detroit 3 and hamstrung the major Asian manufacturers. But that’s only part of the problem.

Bailouts from the taxpayer may keep the manufacturers afloat—or not. But that doesn’t have a whole lot to do with the process of actually buying and selling vehicles. That’s done at the franchise or dealership level. And at the dealership level is where the car industry gets it deserved bad name. Let’s be crystal clear, there are a lot of dealers out there that are ethical (the last place where I sold cars epitomizes how to do it with integrity). But, there are also a lot of dealers, irrespective of their nameplate, who seem to revel in perpetuating the image of the double dealing, lying, screw the customer car dealership.

Here’s the bottom line—if there’s something going on in a sales negotiation with a customer that you won’t, can’t or don’t disclose then you damn well shouldn’t do it. Things such as “stealing trades”—which is intentionally undervaluing a vehicle trade appraisal to boost profit. Things like claiming that a customer’s credit isn’t as good as it really is in order to boost the interest rate of a naïve or unsuspecting customer. Things like high-balling a proposal (“pencil” in the jargon of car sales) in order to “launch” the customer and then get them “under control” and more reasonable during the remainder of the negotiation.

Things like failing to disclose “back-end” (warranty, GAP insurance, etc.) during the negotiation and close, which isn’t supposed to be done, but still routinely happens. And after underallowing on a trade, financing a customer for 84 months (7 years) knowing that the customer will want to replace the vehicle in less than 4 years and will have thousands and thousands of negative equity (talk about shooting yourself in the foot).

These are just some of the things which alienate customers. There is an even longer litany which can be listed. However, these types of behaviors put the retail side of the industry in a bad light and even worse, are indicative of a mind-set which is concerned only with “today’s sale” rather than on building loyalty and repeat business. I know of a dealer in the L.A. area who brags about the $2 million sign he has soaring over the dealership paid for by the profits from the over-priced after-market service contracts he sells with proceeds going into off-shore accounts. His profit margin is so high because he revels in making it exceedingly difficult for customers to get pay-outs on the service-contracts for repairs.

And, there are still far too many sales managers and sales staff who think it is perfectly all right to lie to customers. All this combines to imperil the auto industry in a totally different way than the poor decisions and management of some manufacturers. No brand of car is immune from dealers who operate in this fashion. It’s not confined to the Detroit 3. You’ll find Lexus and Honda and Mercedes and Kia dealers who do the same kinds of things. By the same token you’ll find Infiniti and Toyota and BMW and Suzuki dealers who are totally ethical.

Caveat emptor has long been the watchword of the retail side of the auto industry. Until this changes, the industry will continue to be in peril—at the expense of the consumer.