Sunday, September 19, 2010

Cheap Bastid's Honey Bunches of Oats

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day…yadda, yadda, yadda. Truth be told, I like cereal. I’ve got a great big bowl that I use for it and because I’m too lazy most mornings for a full breakfast, I typically do a big ole bowl of some sort of breakfast cereal before trudging off to the car dealership for another day of professional exasperation.

But I’m the Cheap Bastid even with cereal. I try to get the most bang for my buck—like with “Nutty Nuggets”. (Those are the “generic”, storebrand of old fashioned “Grape Nuts”. Now this is a cereal that does a lot for you. First off, you can’t fill up a big bowl of them simply because then you’d still be munching on the soggy “nuggets” at lunchtime. So I use a smaller bowl for them and at least by weight it’s as much as my big ole bowl.

These nuggets give your jaw muscles one hell of a workout and they give your stomach a nice big baseball size lump to work on throughou
t the morning and early afternoon. Even better, I’m sure that if you have a cavity they’ll fill it up and tamp down to form a semi-permanent filling.

But, remember that I’m cheap. I won’t spend $3.50 to $4 on them. I buy the storebrand “Nutty Nuggets” for $2.49 which are about half a buck more than I like to spend but even though they come in a smaller box, it’s heavier than any of the “flakes” so you’re actually getting more.

And that leads me to Post “Honey Bunches of Oats”. I love ‘em. I devour ‘em. I only buy them when they’re on special at the store for $1.99 a box and then I buy several boxes. Hey, I’m not going to spend $4.00 on a box of them. And I bet Post knows that too no matter how much marketing they do. So, I wait until they’re on special every 2 or 3 months.

So why don’t they just lower the price to a buck ninety-nine? I bet they sell the crap out them at that price to Cheap Bastids like me. I bet that they’re still making money—good money—at $1.99.

It’s good stuff and I still like to slurp the milk out of the bottom of the bowl and let the last of the sweetened milk dribble down my chin. Now, I like to think that I’m too mature for things like Cocoa Puffs or Fruit Loops (OK, make that macho), but I do like me some store brand “Cap’n Crunch” even though it tears up the roof of my mouth.

You can take pretty much every 50-something guy, every Cheap Bastid like me and you’ll still find a little kid hiding inside who likes his cereal every morning—except instead of cereal and Captain Kangaroo it’s cereal and George Stepanopolous. Oh well, close enough.

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