JustWalt's Mental Meanderings: budget cooking

Showing posts with label budget cooking. Show all posts

Monday, October 3, 2011

Cheap Bastid Does Sonoran Hot Dogs

I love Coney Dogs—a hot dog swimming in an ooze of chili. And I love Chicago Dogs—a concoction that’s a salad on a dog complete with iridescent green relish. But now, I lust after Sonoran Dogs.

What makes them so different from other “Dogs”? One word: bacon. Yes, bacon. Visualize a hot dog wrapped in crispy bacon, just waiting to be slathered with a host of toppings that will create a fiesta in your tastebuds. Wow! You’re going to like these.

The Tucson Citizen described Sonoran Hot Dogs as being “like a chili dog on steroids”. I disagree. I think they’re more like a Chicago Dog in afterburner.

Now, I don’t know where I came across these, but Sonoran Hot Dogs rule in Tucson and Phoenix and they’re making inroads here in San Diego and in L.A. They first appeared in the Sonoran capital of Hermosillo in the 60’s and erupted across the border in the 80’s. Now, they’re a staple of lunch-time and bar-closing time in the Southwest.

I’m doing the Cheap Bastid version of this recipe and find that I can get 90% of the taste for 60% of the cost. I’ll throw in the elements that make it pricier and more “up-scale” later.

So on Saturday Mrs. CB got a text from Miss Meggie that she wouldn’t be having dinner with us so we figured we were on our own with my newest concoction until she pulled up in the driveway and into the apartment at 6.

“So are you home for dinner?” Mrs. CB asked.
“What are you fixing?” Miss Meggie asked me (she knows who the cook is).
“Well, I doing Sonoran Hot Dogs. They’ve got salsa and beans and…” but she had quit listening, like 22 year olds do to old folks. “…and they’re hot dogs wrapped in bacon…”

Her eyes lit up at those 3 key words—hot dogs bacon. That was enough for her to become a willing participant in Cheap Bastid’s latest experiment. How about you? Here it is:

Cheap Bastid’s Sonoran Hot Dogs
Ingredients
• 1 package hot dogs
• 8 slices thin cut bacon
• 1 package hot dog buns
• 1 can refried beans
• 1 recipe Cheap Bastid’s Pico de Gallo
• ½ cup Mayonnaise or “salad dressing”
• Chipotle or cayenne
• Mustard
• Shredded cheese (your choice—jack, cheddar, mozzarella, blend, etc.)

Directions
Take out a skillet and put on the stove. Wrap the bacon around each hot dog (use shorter dogs so the slice of bacon thoroughly wraps around it). Take the mayo and add the chipotle/cayenne to it and mix thoroughly. How much chipotle or cayenne? Enough! To taste! Bear in mind, that as it sits, it’ll get hotter so start with a little, sample, add more, stir again, sample, etc. until it’s the way you want it.

Open the can of refried beans, put into a microwave dish and zap on high for 2- 2 ½ minutes until it’s hot—or put it in a sauce pan on the stove.

Get everything arranged for fixing the dogs—plates, bowls of pico de gallo, cheese, etc. so people can fix their own. Now turn the stove on to medium and put the dogs in the pan (see, do all this other stuff first because you’re going to want to pay attention to the bacon wrapped dogs as it cooks and keep giving them quarter turns so they brown and cook evenly.

When done, remove the dogs from the pan and put on a platter with a doubled over paper towel on it to absorb the bacon fat.

Assemble: Take bun and slather some beans on the bottom. Then drop the dog in. Put a line of mustard on the side and then top with the mayo mix, pico de gallo and cheese. Now you’re ready to really enjoy a taste treat.

Imagine, biting through this concoction! The flavors and textures explode in your mouth! There’s crunch from the fresh pico de gallo, there’s softness from the cheese, there’s tang from the mayo and heat from the spices. Then there’s more crunch of bacon followed by the meat of the dog with the taste and texture of the refried beans putting the finishing touches on the bite you just took. Oh man! This is good!

Now, you’ve just had the Cheap Bastid version. There’s other versions of this as well. Some call for freshly cooked pinto beans, others for a can of rinsed pinto beans. I used my Cheap Bastid “ends and pieces” bacon—which didn’t work as well because it’s thick cut. You might want to go with thin sliced bacon. And, most recipes called for “all beef” hot dogs. My problem with that is if I’m going to spend $4-$5 a pound on beef, it’s not going to be a hot dog! That’s how much all-beef dogs cost now.

Some people add guacamole which is fine but CB just isn’t a guacamole lover. And I left out the mustard the other night and a hint of mustard on these would make a big difference—with that hint of vinegary tang to add to the dog and re-frieds. Plus you can also add a fresh-roasted or even jarred pepper to the side (just like on a Chicago dog) for extra taste and texture.

Bolillo rolls are often used for these, adding authenticity and a more upscale taste and texture. If you want to do that, slice a “pocket” in them—don’t cut end to end like a hot dog bun. This will take the Sonoran Dog up a notch. And last but not least—next time I’ll use toothpicks at each end of the dog to hold the bacon in place while it cooks and then pull them out when I finish the dogs.

The Cheap Bastid Test: So how’d I do? Let’s see, the dogs were bought on sale at $.75 a package. The Pico de Gallo cost me about $1.50 and I used half a recipe so it was $.75. The re-fried beans were on special for $.89 a can. The buns were $1 at the dollar store. And I spent $2 on a pound of bacon and used, let’s say ¾ lb so the cost was $1.50. What’s the total for 6 Sonoran Dogs that provide dinner for 3? If my arithmetic is right: $4.89 or $.81 per dog. That’s pretty cheap!

That’s the Cheap Bastid Way: Eat Good. Eat Cheap. Be Grateful!

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Cheap Bastids Lights Out Pico de Gallo

Well, it’s been a while since Cheap Bastid came up with a recipe to share. I’ve been too busy trying to eke out a living selling cars to affluent people who are cheaper bastids than Cheap Bastid. Plus there’s been a lot of stuff going on with our family that’s finally starting to wind down. And, I just haven’t felt like coming up with new recipes and writing about them.

But I’ve got something simple and cheap today. And it all started last Thursday. It was my day off and we hit our grocery store, Stater Brothers. While there we had the bright idea of making some homemade salsa which I haven’t done in a while. It’s actually “pico de gallo” which translates from Spanish as “rooster’s beak”. So we picked up some extra tomatoes and a bunch of fresh cilantro along with a bag of chips that was discounted.

We got home and put the groceries away and I set about chopping the ingredients and letting them macerate.

Now up until now it wasn’t any big deal. It was a hot day and that was the reason for the salsa. It’s something that has some zing and zip from the tomatoes and acid and spiciness. So, along about 3:40 in the afternoon I’m sitting in the living room with some mind numbing drivel on the tube, reading a book—just kicking back on my day off. And zap! The power went off.

Now apparently not too many folks elsewhere in the country really knew that a major power outage occurred that effected the extreme southwest corner of the country for more than 12 hours last Thursday. The power blackout stretched from Tijuana through San Diego and into Orange County and from the Pacific Ocean all the way across California and into Arizona. Several million people all at one time without power. Thank goodness I was at home. I live 15 minutes from work and one guy I work with lives near me. It took him 2 ½ hours to get home.

Oh well. Like I said, it was hot and our apartment isn’t air conditioned. But in a blackout, it wouldn’t work anyway. Our cell phones weren’t working. And obviously we had had no internet because our modem wireless network are powered by electricity. There wasn’t any cable TV. We managed to find some batteries for a small radio and there was one station that was on because it has an emergency generator and does 24/7 news. At least we were able to keep track of what was or wasn’t going on.

I had planned on cooking chops on the grill anyway so dinner was grilled pork chops, grilled summer squash planks and fresh salsa and chips. Think about it…pico de gallo is made from fresh tomatoes, onion and jalapeno. That’s both tasty and actually pretty healthy. So we ate pretty good, by candlelight on a powerless Thursday night. And that’s why I call it “Lights Out” Pico de Gallo.

So, before this gets too long, here’s the simple recipe. Try making it yourself. It’s tasty and a whole lot cheaper than buying something in a jar or in the deli section of your grocery store.

Cheap Bastid’s Lights Out Pico de Gallo

Ingredients:
• 4 Roma tomatoes
• 1 baseball size white onion (about 2/3 or so cup worth)
• 1 jalapeno
• 1 orange—navel or Valencia
• ½ cup chopped fresh cilantro
• Salt, garlic powder, chipotle or cayenne

Directions:
This is really simple. Most of what you’re going to be doing is chopping and cutting so get out your cutting board and good knife along with the bowl for your salsa.

First though, take your jalapeno and roast it. You can use your grill, you can use a burner on your stove or you can put it in the oven at 450. It’s going to take 5 to 10 minutes. If you haven’t done this before, what you’re doing is putting a char on the outside of the pepper and you’re literally steaming it from the inside. When it’s done put it on a plate on top of a paper towel or napkin to cool.

Start dicing your ingredients and putting them in the bowl. You’re going to chop and juice the orange too. I love the flavor that the orange puts into the salsa along with the extra juice that’s both sweet and acidy. When you get all this into the bowl, add a healthy dose of salt—but don’t overdo it. One of the reasons for the salt is to pull the juices from the tomatoes and get the liquid mixed into your salsa.

Now, back to the jalapeno. When cooled, use the paper towel to rub the skin off the surface of the jalapeno. When it’s all peeled off, cut off the top and the cut the jalapeno lengthwise in half. Remove the membrane and seeds and toss them out (this is where the heat is, so quite frankly, you can leave them in if you want your pico de gallo hotter). Chop the jalapeno into about ¼ inch pieces and add to the bowl.

Now, taste your salsa! Add some garlic powder to taste and then add some chipotle or cayenne a little bit at a time until you get the right amount of heat. Then put it in the fridge. Serve it later with tortilla chips or do what we did—we used it as a topping for tostadas tonight.

So, what to do when you’ve got “Lights Out”, you’re hungry and you’re hot. Pull some freshly made Pico de Gallo out of the fridge (be quick going in and out of the fridge if the power’s out!), dig out some tortilla chips, scoop up the salsa and enjoy! That’s what we did. And we like it spicy!

Cheap Bastid Test: This is really inexpensive, especially this time of year. The tomatoes cost about a dollar, the onion was about a quarter, the jalapeno was about a quarter and the orange about 35 cents. Less than 2 bucks! This made the equivalent of 2 jars of salsa. Those 2 jars would cost $6-$7 at the grocery store. And this is a lot fresher and a lot tastier!

The lights were back on the next morning and it all ended up as one of those little adventures that really aren’t all that bad. Except that it really does let you know just how addicted we are to technology.

That’s the Cheap Bastid Way: Eat Good. Eat Cheap. Be Grateful!

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Cheap Bastids Green Chili Pork Chop Taco

So it’s been a while since Cheap Bastid posted a recipe. Mainly because life has been frantic and goofy and Cheap Bastid hasn’t had a whole lot of inspiration. I’ve been cooking a lot but not working much on new recipes.

But, Sunday came and it’s been really busy. I spent most of the day doing yardwork at my Mama Stella’s house. Mrs. CB has only been home 2 or 3 nights the last couple of weeks. She’s been staying a lot at Mama Stella’s who was recently diagnosed with a serious, systemic cancer.

Anyway, I was home alone and hungry. And I wanted something easy. I took out a pork chop with the intent of making sweet and sour pork. Then I thought to myself, “Self, let’s do up some tacos with the pork chop.” So I did. What I wanted was something with some crispiness to it and with some flavor. And I managed to get it.

Now I didn’t take any pictures last night. I was tired and hungry and not thinking of a Cheap Bastid post. But, I managed to click a few tonight when I made leftovers. And tonight I used some left over flatbread rather than tortillas (especially since the tortillas I used last night had been frozen so long that they were kind of tough and crumbly). So here’s what I did:

Cheap Bastid’s Green Chili Pork Chop Taco
• ½ lb pork chop (I used a boneless sirloin chop)
• 1 cup Lettuce
• 1 tomato diced
• ½ cup diced onion
• Tortillas or flat bread
• Juice from 1 lime
• 2 tablespoons cornstarch
• Chipotle or cayenne
• Chili powder
• Salt
• Salsa Verde or Chili Verde (I used canned because it’s what I had)

Tenderize the porkchop in a plastic bag (whomp on it with a sauce pan or meat tenderizer until it’s about ½ inch thick). Cut the pork chop into ½ inch cubes. Put the cubes of meat in a bowl and add the lime juice, chipotle/cayenne, chili powder and salt along with a good squirt of vegetable oil (a tablespoon or 2). Stir to coat and then add the cornstarch and stir it up again. Let this sit for a bit.

Next cut up your veggies. Dice the tomato and onion and cut or tear the lettuce into strips.

Put a sauté pan on the stove over medium high heat. Add a couple of tablespoons of oil and let the pan get hot. Then add the meat. Stir it so that the individual cubes separate. You want a bit of heat so that the cornstarch helps the meat to get nice and crispy. This will take 5-7 minutes to cook. When done, remove the pan from the stove and you’re ready to build your tacos.

Heat the tortillas or flatbread in the microwave for about 20-30 seconds on high to get them warm and pliable. The lay down some meat, lettuce, tomato, and onion. On top of this, add some salsa verde or chili verde. Now if you want a bit more heat, go ahead and add some hot sauce or more cayenne or whatever floats your boat. These were good with a hint of heat and a hint of acid from the lime. You can even add shredded cheese if you want.

This was just something I made up and threw together. It was actually really, really tasty. And really, really cheap. This made a half dozen tacos—enough for a dinner for 2 (actually for dinner last night and a good mini-meal when I got home from work Monday night.

The Cheap Bastid Test: Well, the chop was a half pound and I bought it for about $2.50 a pound, so it cost $1.25. The can of salsa verde was $.89, the tomato cost about $.35 and the onion was about $.20. And let’s just say that the tortillas cost about $.75. So what was the total? If my arithmetic is correct, it was $3.49. Not bad. These would have cost about 2 bucks each at our favorite taco joint or $8. And I definitely liked the way the lime and seasonings and salsa verde played with each other and the meat to create a terrific taste.

That’s the Cheap Bastid Way: Eat Good, Eat Cheap. Be Grateful!

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Cheap Bastid Finds Affordable Fish!

Way back in the long, long ago one of my favorite things was to go out for Friday night fish-fry. It was always 3 or 4 couples and we’d go to a place called Scharner’s On the Shore just north of Sturgeon Bay, Wisconsin.

At this part restaurant/part-tavern we would enjoy the freshest, tastiest perch in the world. As owner Willie Schartner was fond of saying, “so fresh, it was swimming this morning.” And it was true. The waters of Sturgeon Bay and Green Bay teemed with perch. At the time, the daily limit for sports fishermen was 100.

Oh but man, could Schartner’s make some tasty perch. The place would be packed. Friday night fish fry is a long term tradition in Wisconsin and anyplace close to the Great Lakes. You’d get 2 butterflied perch, slaw and fries for $6. Or you could get double perch for $8 or even triple perch for the princely sum of $10. I was usually good for double perch and occasionally I’d choke down a triple.

We’d talk about the week just ended and the weekend just starting, about what was going on with our kids and neighbors and the politics of Sturgeon Bay—population 9,000. I haven’t been able to do that in about 20 years now, ever since leaving the Wisconsin in 1992.

Even worse, I haven’t had a fish dinner in about 3 years. The price of fish has gotten just too damned high. I used to buy salmon every once in a while but that’s gotten up to $11-$12 a pound. Even catfish is now $7.99 a pound. And you’ll never, ever find fresh perch in Southern California—they never heard of it.

And I’ve fantasized about it. I drool every time Bobby Flay or Guy Fieri go someplace that serves catfish “po-boys” or fried catfish with hush puppies.

Then last week I saw an ad in our Stater Brothers weekly flyer. Some fish called “Swai”. It was $2.99 a pound. And I asked myself, “Self, I wonder what Swai is?”

Ain’t Google grand? I was able to find out what this fish is and actually get a whopping helping of TMI. According to ConsumerReports.org and the Monterey Bay Aquarium, swai is a fish native to Southeast Asia and is typically farmed. It’s related to catfish and is part of the Pangasius family. “Swai is a white-flesh fish (typically available in fillet form) with a sweet mild, taste and light flaky texture that can be broiled, grilled, or coating with bread crumbs and fried…”

And that’s what I wanted to do—fry it. And yep, it was good. Really good. Partly because it was cheap and affordable and partly because it’s clean, white and very light tasting. There’s almost no “fishy” taste and in fact, very little taste at all. Of course that means that it needs seasoning or sauce or something to give it flavor.

So, I picked up about 5 filets at Stater’s—about 3 lbs worth. And yep, it’s white, firm with very little fish odor. Perfect for my plans which was to fry it with a flour and corn meal coating. Here’s the simple recipe for it:

Cheap Bastid’s Pan-Fried Swai

• 1 ½ filets of Swai per person (about 12 oz of fish)

• 1 cup flour

• 1 cup corn meal

• 1 cup milk

• Seasoning to taste (salt & pepper or Cajun or Southwest)

Cheap Bastid’s Summer Slaw

• ½ head green cabbage

• Red onion

• 1 roma tomato

• ¼ cup lime juice (appx 2 limes worth)

• Salt & pepper

• 1 tablespoon sugar

• ¼ cup (appx) canola oil

First, prep your slaw. Cut the cabbage into strips about 1 inch by ¼ inch. Chop up about ½ cup red onion into short strips and chop the roma. You can also add some fresh jalapeno pepper or cucumber or even apple—whatever you have and want to throw in. Put it all in a bowl. Squeeze the lime juice into the mix, add some salt & pepper and put in the sugar. Stir it all up and put in the fridge for the flavors to meld together while you do the fish.

Rinse and blot the fish to make sure it’s clean. Lay it out and season it—be somewhat liberal with the seasoning (I like to season the food not the flour mix). Put the milk in a flat container and mix the corn meal and flour together in another flat container.

Turn burner onto medium (about 5 o’clock) and add the oil—enough to thoroughly coat the bottom of the pan. Immerse each filet in the milk and turn over then dredge through the corn meal/flour mix making sure it’s well coated. Shake it off over the mix so there’s not too much excess. Then lay each filet in the oil.

You can do about 3 at a time in a medium skillet. Don’t get them too crowded or you’ll do more steaming than frying. Check the bottom after 4-5 minutes and flip the filet when’s it’s golden. Cook another 4-5 minutes then put onto a plate covered in 2 layers of paper towels to drain.

Serve it all up and enjoy. (By the way, what to do with the left over corn meal/flour and milk? Pour the milk into the corn meal/flour and add an egg, stir it all together. Add more oil to your pan and make hush puppies).

Cheap Bastid Test: Well, how’d I do? I spent about $5 on fish for this meal (and have another 2 filets at $3.50 in the freezer—we’re going to do fish tacos next week). The slaw cost less than $1 (head of cabbage $.79 and I used half). Add the milk and flour, corn meal and oil and the total for the dinner was about $7. Not too bad. It’s a bit pricey but the cheapest “fresh” fish you’re going to come across.

The next time I do it, it’ll be in the oven with lemon/butter and herb. This fish has very little flavor. So it needs to be seasoned. Oh, and by the way we use “seafood cocktail” sauce—except we didn’t have any. But we always have ketchup and prepared horseradish—and we like it spicy.

That’s the Cheap Bastid Way: Eat Good. Eat Cheap. Be Grateful!

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Cheap Bastids "As the Cinnamon Roll Turns" redux

Sunday dawns. My day off. I always do laundry on Sunday starting at about 6 a.m., read the paper, watch CBS Sunday Morning and drink coffee. Carolyn sleeps late and I’ve got the world kind of to myself except for the squabbling of the early morning hummingbirds at our feeder.

So, this will be the morning of the great cinnamon roll experiment, part 2. What could be better than fresh laundry, Sunday morning and freshly baked cinnamon rolls. (Remember a couple of weeks ago when I baked some up using recipes for biscuit dough—well today I’m going to try again with slightly different technique and see how well I can do).

So I get out my ingredients—noticing that I need to add lard to the shopping list and start whipping up a batch of dough. I pay attention to how I roll out the dough, and rather than use brown sugar I use plain old cinnamon sugar.

What am I going to do different? Well, roll out the dough a bit thinner and then roll the “log” tighter. Also I’m going to bake these at 375 rather than the 425 I used last time and I’m going to do them for about 15 minutes using a cookie sheet rather than glass 13x13 pan. So let’s see how they come out.

Plus, I did an egg yolk wash on half of them to see what difference it would make.

The results? Well, they weren’t as photogenic. But they were definitely better tasting. I noticed that the bottoms were just about a perfect golden brown but starting to get a bit crisp (presumably from the melting margarine and sugar).

The upshot is that these were good. Better than last time. But, no matter what all the recipes say these aren’t as good as using yeast dough. They’re still biscuits rolled up with cinnamon sugar and margarine. They’re not the “real deal”—you know, gooey, soft goodness so sweet it’ll give you a sugar high for half the day.

OK, so I give. These aren’t worth the effort so my next Sunday off (or maybe this Thursday if I go and get some lard) I’m going to try a rising yeast dough and do it the old fashioned way. Who knows maybe Cheap Bastid will even go out and get a beat up old bundt pan at the thrift store for a buck and try Monkey Bread.

As the Cheap Bastid, I’ve already gritted my teeth and invested in yeast for my next experiment. They packets cost $.50 each which just about doubles the price of the rolls. I hope the “investment” is worth it. Stay tuned for the next installment of your favorite soap opera, “As the Cinnamon Roll Turns”.

But here’s the bottom line—there’s nothing better than sharing a cup of coffee and a couple of cinnamon rolls with your best girl on Sunday morning which is what Carolyn and I did when they came out of the oven. Even if they aren’t the world’s best cinnamon rolls. But I’m working on it.

That’s the Cheap Bastid Way: Eat Good. Eat Cheap. Be Grateful!

Monday, February 21, 2011

Cheap Bastid's Cinnamon Roll Debacle

It took the better part of an hour of mixing dough, mixing cinnamon and sugar, rolling dough into a “jelly roll” and baking to get the photogenic results of my cinnamon rolls.

And it only took one bite to come to the conclusion that something had gone fundamentally wrong. I’m still scratching my head over it but I think I’ve figured out what went wrong—for the next time.

If you’ve read any of my recent Cheap Bastid posts you’ll know that recently I went from baking biscuits to baking yeast risen pretzels. My most recent biscuit baking (Friday morning) was fantastic—everything worked and they were perfect. So I said to myself, “Self, there’s got to be a way to do cinnamon rolls with regular biscuit dough.”

Well, self was right. There are plenty of recipes and photos online about using ordinary baking powder biscuit dough to make cinnamon rolls. The techniques are by and large the same from recipe to recipe so I said to myself, “Self, let’s give it a try Sunday morning.”

It wasn’t that hard to do. The main thing was rolling out the dough, spreading some margarine down on the rolled dough and then covering it with a layer of cinnamon and brown sugar. They looked good. I even came up with a way of making my own powdered sugar in order to do the icing on top of the rolls.

Sounds pretty good doesn’t it. They looked good too. Looked good all slathered with cinnamon sugar. Looked good rolled up. Looked good in the pan going into the oven. And looked really good coming out of the oven.

Except for one thing.

They tasted crappy.

Now I’m sure that top foo-foo foodie chefs mess up often enough. They might even mess up spectacularly. I know I rarely make anything that I would consider to be a “perfect” dish. There’s always something I could do better. But this was a “crash and burn”. Let’s put it this way, I don’t think that cinnamon rolls are supposed to be crunchy.

So, what did I do wrong? Not much. I overbaked them. My mind was telling me golden brown when it should have been telling me “hint of color”. Golden brown is the color of cinnamon rolls that are fried like donuts. And by the time these got golden brown, they also got to the consistency of burned toast. You almost had to gnaw on them. So what I did wrong was baking them too long at too high a temperature. Easy enough.

So, I’ve got to try again. And I will. Maybe. Pretty soon. I think. Then I can write the recipe.

But the pictures turned out purty!

That's the Cheap Bastid Way: Eat Good, Eat Cheap. Be Grateful!

Monday, February 14, 2011

Cheap Bastid’s Foodie Tuesday—Soft Pretzels and Capt Ron

Well, another Valentine’s Day is in the books. And when I put my mind to it, there are actually a lot more fantastic women in my life than I tend to think about day in and day out.

There’s my incredible wife Carolyn along with my daughter Susan and step-daughter Miss Meggie. Then there are my granddaughters, Raegan and Emma (MissChif and Spike) and their mom Katie. Oops and I almost forgot my mother-in-law, Mamma Stella. And then there’s my Mom, who just turned 80 and is still “take no prisoners feisty”. That’s a terrific line-up. I love ‘em all.

Not too long ago, after one of my mornings baking fresh baking powder and lard biscuits, Mrs. CB (my gorgeous wife) had a request. In that semi-sexy way that wives get from time to time she suggested that now that I was getting pretty good at biscuits that it would be even better if I tried soft pretzels. This being delivered with a bit of a “come hither” look and that flirty way guaranteeing that you’re going to do anything she suggests.

So I started to do a bit of research online (how did we get along before Google?). There’s lots of recipes out there and I kind of “hybrided” three of them together to come up with one that I thought had the best shot of succeeding given my limited talents and basic “cheap bastidliness”.

I also consulted Capt. Ron. Now Capt. Ron isn’t really a captain. He lives on a sailboat in Oceanside harbor and likes to refer to himself as Capt. Ron. So I indulge him. He’s a fount of information on baking having worked for 20 years as a commercial baker. He’s also my boss—he’s my sales manager at the car dealership where I work. But he knows his stuff. The first sample biscuit I took him he looked at it and said “pretty good first effort.” He took a bite and said “not enough fat and you worked the dough too much.” He’s good. So I consulted him—and got some pretty good advice. He even explained why the pretzels are boiled briefly before baking—it’s what let’s them come out of the oven with that “pretzelly” outside and chewing inside.

So, armed with all that information, I set out last Thursday to try my hand at making pretzels. Now, bear in mind that this is a recipe and the photos are the results of my first ever effort at making them. It actually wasn’t difficult but, like most other baking, it’s a matter of technique. I actually made pretzels that looked, smelled and tasted like pretzels. And next time, they’ll be even better because I made a couple of basic mistakes.

So here’s the recipe and directions along with some photos:

Cheap Bastid’s Soft Pretzels
• 3 cups all purpose flour
• 2 ounces melted butter or margarine
• 1 cup warm water (hot tap water is fine)
• 1 tbsp sugar
• 1 pkg active dry yeast
• 1 tbsp sugar
• 2 tsp salt
• 2 tbsp baking soda
• 4-6 cups water
• 1 beaten egg
• Kosher salt

Directions:
Combine water, sugar and salt in a bowl then sprinkle the yeast on top. Allow it to sit for 5 minutes or until the mixture begins to foam. Get out a good sized mixing bowl and put the flour in it. Then add the butter/margarine and pour in the yeast mixture. Mix all this together until it is well combined. Keep mixing until the dough starts to come together. Then reach in and start to knead it (if the dough is “tacky” you can remove to your floured pastry board, or to the floured counter and knead it—the dusting of flour will pull the “tackiness” out of the dough and let you work it. Knead for several minutes until the dough begins to get smooth and satiny.

Clean out the bowl, dry it and rub a thin skim of oil onto its surface (use vegetable oil or margarine on a paper towel or napkin). Put the dough in the bowl and cover it with a towel or plastic wrap for about 45 minutes.

Now is time to take out your baking sheets and put a thin skim of oil on it. Turn your oven on to pre-heat to 425. Put a good sized pot of water on the stove and turn the heat to medium-high. Add the baking soda. Bring to a rolling boil.

While the oven is pre-heating and the pan is coming to a boil, take out your dough and break it into 8 equal sized chunks. Roll each of these, by hand, into a “rope” about the thickness of your finger or a cigar and about 20 inches long. Then make a “horseshoe shape” with the dough rope. Take the ends and cross them. Then gently press the ends into the opposite side of the pretzel. Put them on the cookie sheet. (I stacked them on my pastry board. And they stuck together and I had to roll and shape the pretzels again. Don’t do that!).

Now, your baking soda water is bubbling merrily away. Take the raw pretzels over to the stove and using a slotted spatula or big slotted spoon dunk the pretzels in the water one at a time for no more than 30 seconds each. Keep the spatula under the pretzel and at the count of 15 Mississippi flip it over. At 30 Mississippi take it out and put it back on the sheet. Then do another one.

Lastly, brush a bit of the eggwash lightly on each pretzel and then put a light sprinkle of kosher salt on the top of each.

Pop the cookie sheet in the oven and bake for 12 to 15 minutes or until a nice golden brown color. I should have used a cooling rack but didn’t. Next time I will. It’s good to get the pretzels off the hot cookie sheet right away.

Let your pretzels cool down and eat them while they’re still warm. Smear a bit of mustard on them. Pop a brewski or just bite into them plain. These are good.

Damn, these were tasty! Now these were my first ever effort. They weren’t the prettiest pretzels you ever saw but next time I’ll do a lot better. We bit into them and they tasted fantastic, just like a fat, warm, soft pretzel is supposed to taste like and smell.

I took a couple to work the next day and gave one to Capt. Ron. He took one bite. It was still chewy and pronounced—“Hmmm, you didn’t let your yeast rise enough.” I was surprised that he could diagnose the pretzels that quickly. “Well,” I replied, “that’s because the yeast was pretty much ‘dead’. The package expired last October and didn’t really foam up.” So, that’s two more lessons. First, make sure that you’ve got “live” yeast. And know that Capt. Ron will be able to figure out what you need to do differently almost instantly.

The Cheap Bastid Test: The main expense in making these pretzels is time. It’s going to take close to a couple of hours. We’re talking total expenses of maybe a dollar for a the flour and yeast, some sugar and an egg. Pretty reasonable.

What I liked best though was a couple of hours on a day off to putz around in the kitchen, concentrating on something different and relaxing with the effort to creates something cheap and tasty.

That’s the Cheap Bastid Way: Eat Good. Eat Cheap. Be Grateful!

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Cheap Bastid's Savory Salisbury Steak

Remember mystery meat? Brown, rubbery, almost tasteless gunk sitting on the bottom of the main dish aluminum section of the “Hungryman” Swanson’s TV dinners you buy when you’re starved and want something which at least resembles meat but you don’t want to cook.

Or the stuff that found its way onto your school lunch tray with a heap of bad mashed potatoes on the side glopped with deep brown goo and a side of corn that was boiled to death by the denizens of the lunchroom kitchen. Both versions of the dish would typically feature bits of “pencil eraser”—cooked canned mushrooms which somehow have become rubbery.

Yep, that’s Salisbury Steak. It’s a venerable dish which, thanks to the TV dinner industry has been sorely abused. We’ve all had it. It fills our belly and satisfies a primal urge for beef but usually in a form that only technically qualifies as a meal.

I’ve eaten it as a “treat”—something to “reward” an evening of independence from kids and the duties of a household. I’ve eaten it when I didn’t want to cook but wanted something to fill me up—a default pretend feast of gargantuan proportions fresh from the freezer section of the grocery store.

Note: for more Cheap Bastid Recipes go to my new website:

http://www.cheap-bastid-cooks.com/

Now, I have come up with a way to make it a “stick to your ribs celebration of flavor and comfort food.” And it’s good. Flavorful, savory, aromatic.

It’s not hard to make, but there are several steps and start to finish it takes about 2 hours. And sometimes good comfort food takes a bit of time to come together. It’s worth the wait and you’ll be rewarded with some terrific aromas while it’s cooking.

Cheap Bastid’s Salisbury Steak

• 1 ½ lbs. 85% ground beef
• 1 cup diced onion
• 1 tbsp minced garlic
• 2 eggs
• ¾ cup bread or cracker crumbs
• 2 cups sliced mushrooms
• ½ cup diced mushrooms
• 2 tbsp flour
• 16 oz beef or veal stock

Directions
First do all your prep. Dice the onions, clean and slice the mushrooms, dice the ½ cup of mushrooms. Prep the crumbs. Get out your eggs, flour and stock. Be ready to cook. Get out a medium mixing bowl for the meat mixture, a large sauté pan and a good size baking dish.

Put a large sauté pan on the stove over medium high heat and add a couple of tablespoons of oil or butter. Add ¾ of the diced onion and the minced garlic. Give it a stir to get going then add the ½ cup of diced mushrooms. Cook until onion is translucent. Remove from heat and scrape contents into the mixing bowl. (Don’t rinse or clean the pan yet). Give it about 5 minutes to cool back to room temperature.

When cool, add the meat then add the eggs and crumbs. (I used cracker crumbs because I didn’t have any bread crumbs and I like the slightly different flavor the cracker crumbs give). Mix all this up really well. (I used a blend of 12 oz. ground round, 6 oz. ground chuck and 2 oz. pork sausage.) Form the meat into patties about ½ inch thick and about 6 oz. each (just eyeball it).

Now, put the pan back on the stove, turn the heat to medium-high and add 2-3 tablespoons of oil. Put the patties down in the pan and brown on each side (it’ll take 2-3 minutes per side). Remove and put the patties in a single layer in a baking dish.

OK, so the meat is ready. Now on to the gravy. (See what I mean, this is just a little bit involved, but it’s worth it!).

Add a bit of oil/butter to the pan you used to sauté the onions and mushrooms and brown the meat (about 3 tablespoons total). Sprinkle 3 tablespoons of flour into the oil and whisk it into a roux. This is a “quick roux” and will only take a couple of minutes to come together. Add the stock about a third at a time and keep whisking/stirring. Make sure there are no lumps. Add the rest of the mushrooms and simmer for 20-30 minutes until it thickens.

Preheat the oven to 375. This is when the kitchen is going to really start smelling great with the richness of the beef stock and the earthiness of the mushrooms.

Pour the gravy over the browned meat patties. Cover the dish with foil and put into the oven for about 45 minutes.

Now is the time to make a pot of mashed potatoes and start anticipating the goodness that’s going to come out of the oven.

When done, serve it up. Slather some of the gravy over the mashed potatoes and a bit more on the meat and enjoy.

The meat will me moist and flavorful. The aroma will make your mouth water in anticipation. This ain’t no TV dinner! It’s the real deal. But you can eat it in front of the TV anyway.

The Cheap Bastid Test: This isn’t the cheapest recipe Cheap Bastid has ever done but it’s reasonable. The total for the meat (about 1 ½ lbs) was $3. The stock cost $1 for a 32 oz. box plus I used stock ice cubes that I make myself and freeze. There’s maybe $.50 worth of onion. The priciest item is the mushrooms which were $2.79/lb. and I used about ¾ lb. or $2.10 worth. So the total for this meal for 3 (at our home anyway) was $6.60 but let’s call it $7.00 with stuff like garlic and crumbs added. For 3 servings, that comes to $2.33 each—less than a Hungry Man TV dinner and a lot better. The downside is it takes 2 hours plus to make—but it’s worth it.

That’s the Cheap Bastid Way: Eat Good, Eat Cheap, Be Grateful!

If you liked this and want to read more Cheap Bastid recipes click this link to my new Cheap Bastid Cooks website: http://www.cheap-bastid-cooks.com/