Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Obama's Health Report--Let the Man Smoke!

Yesterday some of the results of President Obama’s physical exam came to light. His “bad” cholesterol is up and there was veiled reference to his continuing efforts to stop smoking.

There was also mention of how his smoking and apparent eating of “bad foods” are a bad example to the nation, in particular to Michelle Obama’s new crusade on childhood obesity and the health risks of smoking. Oh, and he likes his cocktails too.

Oh for crying out, damn loud!

Let the guy eat whatever he wants and smoke like a chimney if he wants. This guy’s got a tough job made much tougher by all the a-holes he has to contend with each day who try to stymie and stifle his efforts every step of the way. He’s scrawny. He works out.

Does he go outside to smoke? Is that why he’s always walking Beau? I could care less if he lit one up during a photo opportunity with the poster wheezer for the Emphysema Society. If he wants to chainsmoke or puff a hookah during a Cabinet meeting or a meeting with the military Chiefs of Staff, let him. They’re big boys. They work for him. Tough toenails.

Might his smoking harm some of the antiques that are undoubtedly in his office? Who cares. It’s old crap anyway which I’m sure has been exposed to its share of smoke over the centuries. Besides, there’s a minor army of people on the government payroll whose job it is to restore that stuff.

Get together with anyone you want Obama and go out and “burn one”. Sit in the Oval Office, chug a brewski and smoke a Camel straight. One rule. Use an ashtray. Michelle would be P.O.’d if you burned or spilled on that carpet with the seal in it (that’ll be going to a museum someday).

You’ve got a mess with health care legislation. You’ve got 2 wars still going on. You’ve got jerks criticizing every damn thing you do. And, you’ve been kind of vacillating because you hate to tick anyone off.

OK, so here’s what you do: Sit back and start telling yourself, “I’m the President. I’ve got a lot of crap to get done. I’ve got 59 votes in the Senate. So work with me Republicans or you can all go and screw yourselves. The buck stops here. FDR and Truman were smoking fiends.”

Light up a butt. Blow smoke rings. Smoke as much as you want. Just get something done. Drink a Bud and eat some chips (chip crumbs are OK on the carpet in the Oval Office because they’ll vacuum right up).

And besides, if you start using nicotine lozenges or gum, you’re going to stink up the Oval Office and Cabinet rooms even worse with the nasty gas it’ll give you. And there’s way too much nasty gas in Washington, D.C. already.

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