Cheap Bastid's What to Feed A Hungry Kid

Megan’s no kid though. She’s 21, as tall as I am at 5’8” and ain’t no anorexic stick girl. She works and works out and could probably whup my fanny. She also likes to eat. Fortunately she likes Cheap Bastid’s cooking. It’s hearty and there’s plenty of it.

Anyway, I was off this last weekend and that means it’s time to cook. There was a prediction of bad weather, which finally rolled in on Sunday but I made plans to cook up a batch of lasagna Saturday. Now lasagna’s not hard to make. It takes just a little bit of prep and assembly. It’s also not the cheapest dish around, but it makes a lot of food and when all is said and done it’s really reasonable at about 75¢ per serving.

So I made it a point to pick up the necessary cheeses at the grocery store Saturday morning and double checked to be sure that I had the other ingredients. OK, I didn’t photograph the entire process. In fact, I thought to take pictures only after dinner. We got hungry. Meggie really tore into it. Here’s what was left of a 9 x 13 pan after the 3 of us got done:

Everybody’s got a recipe for lasagna I would imagine. For years I just did the recipe on the back of the box. Now I pretty much do it out of my head. I don’t try to get fancy. And this isn’t a recipe that my Great Grandma used to cook in Sicily or Naples or anything like that. It’s just good old basic Lasagna with 3 cheeses and uses canned sauce.

Yes, canned sauce. Have I ever explained why I use canned sauce rather than making it from scratch? It’s simple. Making it from scratch is delicious. It takes the better part of a whole day, or longer, to simmer properly and get the full, rich flavor. But I quit making it from scratch (which I used to do all the time) about 25 years ago when I discovered one thing.

What was the one thing? My kids couldn’t have cared less that it was homemade sauce. Dinners with little kids needed to be cooked quickly and served just as quickly before the little ragamuffins starved to death right before my eyes. So I went to prepared sauce.

Then it took me about another 17 years to figure out that the canned stuff was not only 1/3 the price of the jarred stuff but that I liked the way it tastes a lot better—more like real tomato sauce with just a bit of acid still in it rather than the over-sweetened stuff in a jar. There are only so many glass jars that I can stuff in my cupboards for future use anyway. Besides, the canned stuff I buy was on special for 75¢ for a 26.5 oz. can this week anyway. I bought 6 cans.

So if that’s too plebian for your taste that’s all right with me. Because I’m the Cheap Bastid. If you want to foo-foo your lasagna with all sorts of stuff, that’s OK too. Have at it. Use more expensive and better quality cheeses. Do a gourmet sauce. All that’s fine. Mine tastes good and sticks to your ribs. Plus it’s cheap.

Cheap Bastid’s Lasagna
Ingredients
• 1 lb ground meat (I used ¾ ground beef and ¼ ground pork) or Italian sausage
• 1 package lasagna noodles
• 1 can/jar prepared pasta sauce
• 1 8 oz. can tomato sauce
• 8 oz shredded mozzarella
• 4 oz grated parmesan cheese
• 1 16 oz container cottage cheese (4% fat preferred)
• 1 egg
• Spices: I use crushed red chili, cumin, dried parsley, dried basil, garlic, thyme, fennel seeds and oregano


Directions:
Get out a 9 x 13 pan and grease it. Take out a large mixing bowl. Take out a medium sauté pan and your pasta pot.

Fill your pasta pot with about a half gallon of water (more or less—you know your pot). Put it on the stove turned to medium high and put the sauté pan on the stove turned to medium. Put the ground meat into the sauté pan to brown. Season the meat with salt, pepper, crushed red chili, fennel seed, garlic and cumin. (I know cumin is more of a Mexican seasoning but I like it!) How much spices? Enough! Do it to taste. Remember though, go a bit light. You can always add more but once it’s in you can’t take it out.

Keep stirring the meat up to brown it evenly. When pasta water comes to a boil, put the lasagna noodles in it. You’re going to par-boil it—really “as dente”. And stir it a couple of times to make sure the noodles don’t stick together. When the meat is done, scoop it into your large mixing bowl—fat drippings and all. Open the sauce and pour it in the bowl. Add the 8 oz can of tomato sauce. Sample and season it to taste. Stir it up really good.

When the pasta is al dente—about 8-10 minutes remove from the stove and drain into a colander. Now take the cottage cheese and put it into a medium bowl. Then add the parmesan, egg and about 2 tablespoons of dried parsley. Mix it all up together really good.

Take out your shredded mozzarella. Reserve a good handful for the final layer on top.

Now you’re going to build your lasagna. If your oven’s not on, then pre-heat it to 375.

Start with about a cup and a half of sauce on the bottom of the dish. Then add your first layer of noodles—running lengthways down the dish. Next put a layer of the cottage cheese mix on top of the noodles (about 1/2 of it) and then put a layer of sauce on top of that followed by another layer of noodles. Next sprinkle a layer of mozzarella (half of it) and some more sauce with a another layer of noodles. Keep building it. There should 2 layers of the cottage cheese mix and 2 layers of the mozzarella with each layer having sauce. The final layer is the last of the sauce with the reserved mozzarella and a final shake of parmesan cheese. One thing I like to do also is to put a couple of the noodle layers cross ways—fold the noodle or snip it off to length.

Cover the dish in foil and put it into the oven for a total of about 45 minutes. At 30 minutes remove the foil to let the top brown a bit.

Make yourself up a really great salad and some garlic bread or garlic toast. This isn’t “true” Italian cooking but it’s a good American version of an Italian classic that will feed a whole family, stick to your ribs and have you wanting seconds—or even thirds. It’ll easily feed six.

So, Meggie got fed. She came home from work starving, smelled the lasagna baking and her eyes lit up. I think it hit just the right spot because she managed to down 3 big hunks of it. I love it when people gobble up something I’ve cooked. Makes me feel good all over.

The Cheap Bastid Test: As I just said this dish will feed 6. It costs about $8 to make in my “Cheap Bastid” version. If you want you can get the price up there all the way to $20 or more if you go pricey on cheeses and sauce and meat. And $8 for a dinner that easily feeds 4 adults with left-overs is price effective in this ever more expensive world of ours.

So, there it is Cheap Bastid’s Lasagna. Other people will have their own versions and some will have versions that are far better. But that’s OK because I’m the Cheap Bastid. I’m looking for the best bang for the buck. And this will do it.

That’s the Cheap Bastid Way: Eat Good. Eat Cheap. Be Grateful!

Cheap Bastid’s Foodie Tuesday—Soft Pretzels and Capt Ron

Well, another Valentine’s Day is in the books. And when I put my mind to it, there are actually a lot more fantastic women in my life than I tend to think about day in and day out.

There’s my incredible wife Carolyn along with my daughter Susan and step-daughter Miss Meggie. Then there are my granddaughters, Raegan and Emma (MissChif and Spike) and their mom Katie. Oops and I almost forgot my mother-in-law, Mamma Stella. And then there’s my Mom, who just turned 80 and is still “take no prisoners feisty”. That’s a terrific line-up. I love ‘em all.

Not too long ago, after one of my mornings baking fresh baking powder and lard biscuits, Mrs. CB (my gorgeous wife) had a request. In that semi-sexy way that wives get from time to time she suggested that now that I was getting pretty good at biscuits that it would be even better if I tried soft pretzels. This being delivered with a bit of a “come hither” look and that flirty way guaranteeing that you’re going to do anything she suggests.

So I started to do a bit of research online (how did we get along before Google?). There’s lots of recipes out there and I kind of “hybrided” three of them together to come up with one that I thought had the best shot of succeeding given my limited talents and basic “cheap bastidliness”.

I also consulted Capt. Ron. Now Capt. Ron isn’t really a captain. He lives on a sailboat in Oceanside harbor and likes to refer to himself as Capt. Ron. So I indulge him. He’s a fount of information on baking having worked for 20 years as a commercial baker. He’s also my boss—he’s my sales manager at the car dealership where I work. But he knows his stuff. The first sample biscuit I took him he looked at it and said “pretty good first effort.” He took a bite and said “not enough fat and you worked the dough too much.” He’s good. So I consulted him—and got some pretty good advice. He even explained why the pretzels are boiled briefly before baking—it’s what let’s them come out of the oven with that “pretzelly” outside and chewing inside.

So, armed with all that information, I set out last Thursday to try my hand at making pretzels. Now, bear in mind that this is a recipe and the photos are the results of my first ever effort at making them. It actually wasn’t difficult but, like most other baking, it’s a matter of technique. I actually made pretzels that looked, smelled and tasted like pretzels. And next time, they’ll be even better because I made a couple of basic mistakes.

So here’s the recipe and directions along with some photos:

Cheap Bastid’s Soft Pretzels
• 3 cups all purpose flour
• 2 ounces melted butter or margarine
• 1 cup warm water (hot tap water is fine)
• 1 tbsp sugar
• 1 pkg active dry yeast
• 1 tbsp sugar
• 2 tsp salt
• 2 tbsp baking soda
• 4-6 cups water
• 1 beaten egg
• Kosher salt

Directions:
Combine water, sugar and salt in a bowl then sprinkle the yeast on top. Allow it to sit for 5 minutes or until the mixture begins to foam. Get out a good sized mixing bowl and put the flour in it. Then add the butter/margarine and pour in the yeast mixture. Mix all this together until it is well combined. Keep mixing until the dough starts to come together. Then reach in and start to knead it (if the dough is “tacky” you can remove to your floured pastry board, or to the floured counter and knead it—the dusting of flour will pull the “tackiness” out of the dough and let you work it. Knead for several minutes until the dough begins to get smooth and satiny.

Clean out the bowl, dry it and rub a thin skim of oil onto its surface (use vegetable oil or margarine on a paper towel or napkin). Put the dough in the bowl and cover it with a towel or plastic wrap for about 45 minutes.

Now is time to take out your baking sheets and put a thin skim of oil on it. Turn your oven on to pre-heat to 425. Put a good sized pot of water on the stove and turn the heat to medium-high. Add the baking soda. Bring to a rolling boil.

While the oven is pre-heating and the pan is coming to a boil, take out your dough and break it into 8 equal sized chunks. Roll each of these, by hand, into a “rope” about the thickness of your finger or a cigar and about 20 inches long. Then make a “horseshoe shape” with the dough rope. Take the ends and cross them. Then gently press the ends into the opposite side of the pretzel. Put them on the cookie sheet. (I stacked them on my pastry board. And they stuck together and I had to roll and shape the pretzels again. Don’t do that!).

Now, your baking soda water is bubbling merrily away. Take the raw pretzels over to the stove and using a slotted spatula or big slotted spoon dunk the pretzels in the water one at a time for no more than 30 seconds each. Keep the spatula under the pretzel and at the count of 15 Mississippi flip it over. At 30 Mississippi take it out and put it back on the sheet. Then do another one.

Lastly, brush a bit of the eggwash lightly on each pretzel and then put a light sprinkle of kosher salt on the top of each.

Pop the cookie sheet in the oven and bake for 12 to 15 minutes or until a nice golden brown color. I should have used a cooling rack but didn’t. Next time I will. It’s good to get the pretzels off the hot cookie sheet right away.

Let your pretzels cool down and eat them while they’re still warm. Smear a bit of mustard on them. Pop a brewski or just bite into them plain. These are good.

Damn, these were tasty! Now these were my first ever effort. They weren’t the prettiest pretzels you ever saw but next time I’ll do a lot better. We bit into them and they tasted fantastic, just like a fat, warm, soft pretzel is supposed to taste like and smell.

I took a couple to work the next day and gave one to Capt. Ron. He took one bite. It was still chewy and pronounced—“Hmmm, you didn’t let your yeast rise enough.” I was surprised that he could diagnose the pretzels that quickly. “Well,” I replied, “that’s because the yeast was pretty much ‘dead’. The package expired last October and didn’t really foam up.” So, that’s two more lessons. First, make sure that you’ve got “live” yeast. And know that Capt. Ron will be able to figure out what you need to do differently almost instantly.

The Cheap Bastid Test: The main expense in making these pretzels is time. It’s going to take close to a couple of hours. We’re talking total expenses of maybe a dollar for a the flour and yeast, some sugar and an egg. Pretty reasonable.

What I liked best though was a couple of hours on a day off to putz around in the kitchen, concentrating on something different and relaxing with the effort to creates something cheap and tasty.

That’s the Cheap Bastid Way: Eat Good. Eat Cheap. Be Grateful!

Cheap Bastid's Honey Bunches of Oats

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day…yadda, yadda, yadda. Truth be told, I like cereal. I’ve got a great big bowl that I use for it and because I’m too lazy most mornings for a full breakfast, I typically do a big ole bowl of some sort of breakfast cereal before trudging off to the car dealership for another day of professional exasperation.

But I’m the Cheap Bastid even with cereal. I try to get the most bang for my buck—like with “Nutty Nuggets”. (Those are the “generic”, storebrand of old fashioned “Grape Nuts”. Now this is a cereal that does a lot for you. First off, you can’t fill up a big bowl of them simply because then you’d still be munching on the soggy “nuggets” at lunchtime. So I use a smaller bowl for them and at least by weight it’s as much as my big ole bowl.

These nuggets give your jaw muscles one hell of a workout and they give your stomach a nice big baseball size lump to work on throughou

t the morning and early afternoon. Even better, I’m sure that if you have a cavity they’ll fill it up and tamp down to form a semi-permanent filling.

But, remember that I’m cheap. I won’t spend $3.50 to $4 on them. I buy the storebrand “Nutty Nuggets” for $2.49 which are about half a buck more than I like to spend but even though they come in a smaller box, it’s heavier than any of the “flakes” so you’re actually getting more.

And that leads me to Post “Honey Bunches of Oats”. I love ‘em. I devour ‘em. I only buy them when they’re on special at the store for $1.99 a box and then I buy several boxes. Hey, I’m not going to spend $4.00 on a box of them. And I bet Post knows that too no matter how much marketing they do. So, I wait until they’re on special every 2 or 3 months.

So why don’t they just lower the price to a buck ninety-nine? I bet they sell the crap out them at that price to Cheap Bastids like me. I bet that they’re still making money—good money—at $1.99.

It’s good stuff and I still like to slurp the milk out of the bottom of the bowl and let the last of the sweetened milk dribble down my chin. Now, I like to think that I’m too mature for things like Cocoa Puffs or Fruit Loops (OK, make that macho), but I do like me some store brand “Cap’n Crunch” even though it tears up the roof of my mouth.

You can take pretty much every 50-something guy, every Cheap Bastid like me and you’ll still find a little kid hiding inside who likes his cereal every morning—except instead of cereal and Captain Kangaroo it’s cereal and George Stepanopolous. Oh well, close enough.

Cheap Bastids Pork Loin Chops with Orange Glaze

Well, Cheap Bastid doesn’t have a whole lot of inspiration with the news of a new granddaughter yesterday, but I thought that I’d look at what I’ve cooked and photographed recently and see what I could share.

One of our favorite “proteins” (that’s a “foo-foo” foodie word for meat) are thick cut (about 1 ¼- 1 ½ inch) boneless loin chops. This is arguably the one meat that we consistently keep on hand which is the most expensive cut (about $2.89 lb at Costco). But, we like to do 1 for each of us at about a half pound each which is a bit less meat than I would usually do because there is actually less fat than in a typical steak so the portion can be a bit smaller. Or, one of them sliced in strips makes for a terrific Chinese dinner cooked up in the wok.

So anyway, a couple of weeks ago, I pulled out a couple of loin chops. They’re great on the grill but I wanted to do something just a bit different. Usually I go real simple with just a light dusting of my basic spice blend or “sweet heat” blend. I decided to go with a bit of seasoning and a glaze.

Here’s what I came up with. Give it a try and enjoy.

Loin Chops and Orange Glaze
Ingredients:
2 thick cut pork loin chops
1 navel orange
2 tablespoons brown sugar
¼ cup chicken broth (or white wine)
Chipotle powder
Basic blend (garlic, black pepper, salt)

Sweet potato wedges

Directions:
Prep your grill and set up a 2 zone fire. One side hot, one side cool. Peel and section the orange. Chop orange sections into about ½” chunks & put in a sauté pan that you can put on the grill (I’ve got an old beater that I removed the handle from that I got for $1 at a thrift store). Add the brown sugar, chicken broth and some chipotle. (Notice I said “some” chipotle. You can always add more as you sample taste but once the spice is in, you can’t take it out). And, add a pinch of salt.

Lightly sprinkle the “basic blend” on both sides of the chops (also, I often will drizzle just a skosh of oil on the chop and spread it out with my fingertips then add the seasoning. I’m with Bobby Flay—oil the meat not the grill).

Then put the pan of glaze fixings on the cool side of the grill. Give it about 5 minutes before putting the chops down. If the glaze thickens first you can remove it from the grill to let the chops finish. I cook by time on the grill and turn about every 3-4 minutes. So, at 3 minutes check for grill marks and turn the meat. At 3 or so more minutes flip again. After another 3 minutes, flip again and then apply the glaze to the top of the chop—a nice, thick, chunky coat. In 3 minutes, remove the chops, they should be just done and still juicy. (You know your grill so adjust cooking times accordingly).


The glaze is going to give you a sweet and “acidy” taste at the same time. The cracked pepper and a hint of garlic will come through from underneath. Man, these are tasty.

Make up a batch of sweet potato wedges in the oven for the side, add a nice salad and you’ve got a great dinner.

Here’s the recipe for the potato/sweet potato wedges:
http://open.salon.com/blog/just-walt/2010/02/01/cheap_bastids_foodie_tuesday--taters_on_the_cheap

The Cheap Bastid Test: The chops cost $3.00 and the glaze cost about $.50. Add another $1 for the sweet potato wedges and you’ve got $4.50 for a really good dinner for 2. It’s a bit more than Cheap Bastid usually spends but this is a treat and we do it maybe once a month. Plus, this meal is easily $18-$20 in a restaurant—each.

It’s getting to be grilling season in most places now so give this a try and enjoy.

That’s the Cheap Bastid Way: Eat Good. Eat Cheap. Be Grateful!

Cheap Bastid's "Deconstructed Tamales"

Simply put, Tamales are incredible. In Hispanic neighborhoods and families they are most often a holiday feast where whole families will spend a day (if not a night) with the multi-step preparation and then will eat freshly steamed tamales throughout the day on whatever special occasion is being celebrated—Christmas, New Years, a christening, etc.

We like to go to a bodego just a couple of blocks from our apartment called Tortilleria Los Hermanos Reyes. This is a neighborhood store right in the heart of downtown Vista which makes chicharrones, often in one piece of the whole side of a pig along with other meat cuts that you can find almost no where else. Plus they have their own tortilla “factory” which is busy all day everyday cranking out fresh corn tortillas starting with the ground masa and ending in fragrant, fresh tortillas.

And, this place makes some really, really tasty carne, carnita and pollo tamales. Here’s a recipe I made up for “Deconstructed” Tamales which creates the flavor but avoids the long, involved process which only someone with generations of tamale-making DNA seems to be able to master.

“Deconstructed Tamales”
2 cups yellow stoneground polenta
2 cups water
1 ½ cup chicken broth
1 cup shredded cheese—cheddar, jack or a combination
¾ lb cooked and shredded beef, pork or chicken
2 roma tomatoes
1 medium onion
1 orange or yellow bell pepper
1-2 jalapeno peppers
2 cloves garlic
Cumino, salt, pepper and chili powder

Directions:
First do all your “prep” work of chopping the tomatoes, bell pepper, onion and jalapeno. Peel the garlic than squash it with the blade of the knife so that it’s like a paste or use jarred, minced garlic. Next shred the beef, pork or chicken.

Prepare the liquid for the polenta (2 cups water and 1 cup chicken broth), put in a heavy pot and turn to high on the stovetop. When the water/broth boils add the polent, turn the heat to low and stir it for several minutes to incorporate the grits and water together. Cover and let it simmer on the lowest heat possible for 30 minutes.

At 30 minutes, put a skillet on the stove and add 2 tablespoons of olive oil. Turn the heat to medium high. Add the onions, bell peppers, jalapeno and garlic. Cook for 3-4 minutes until they start to soften then add the cumino, salt, pepper and garlic powder to taste. Add the shredded meat and stir everything together well. Then add the tomatoes and mix it all together. Turn heat down to medium low for 5 minutes.

Turn the heat off the polenta and add the cheese. Stir it thoroughly so everything mixes together.

Remove everything from the stove and prepare you plates. Put a generous scoop or two of polenta on a plate, cover with the meat mixture and you are ready. If you want, you can top with your favorite salsa.

So, what did you think of this recipe? I took a page from “Top Chef” with it in calling it “Deconstructed Tamales”. In that show, it seems like any dish labeled “deconstructed” or “crudo” gets rave reviews from the judges. It’s a fancy name for a simpler, faster way of preparing a dish that would normally take more time than the contestants have for preparing a dish for competition. And in restaurants, it’s a simpler, more cost effective presentation of the “flavor profile”.

My own term for this dish is “Grish” (which I pronounce “greesh”). It’s a left-over dish which to me is a little bit grits and a little bit hash. I personally would not call the stone ground corn prepared for this meal “polenta”. That’s way too “foo-foo”. It’s G-R-I-T-S! Grits and polenta are essentially made from the same stone ground corn and are prepared a bit differently.

But the main thing for Cheap Bastid is that the grits provide a base for the left-over topping of shredded meat. And it’s an incredible combination of flavors. What my wife particularly likes is that we’ll have slow-cooked pot roast one night and a couple of nights later we’ll take the left over pot-roast and turn it into “Grish” by adding just a couple of ingredients like fresh tomatoes and bell peppers and make it something new and exciting to our palate.

I came up with “Grish” one night when we had some left over pot roast and a part of a bag of stone-ground grits and Mrs. CB was whining for the taste of grits. It was an “a-ha” moment to combine the two rather than whipping up something like fried rice with shredded beef. And this is a totally different taste that takes no longer to prepare and is just as easy to prepare.d

What about The Cheap Bastid Test? This is cheap. There’s maybe a pound of left over meat at about $2 and there’s a couple of tomatoes at about $.75 plus onion, bell pepper and jalapeno for a cost of about $.75. Then I add some broth to the skillet. I use a cup and a half of grits and a pound and a half bag of them costs $2.29—so I’m using maybe $.50 worth of them. Total budget--$4. And we’ll have left-overs of the left-overs to reheat for lunch.

Think about it though. If you went to a restaurant and saw this dish and it was labeled “Grish”, you might pay $8. Same dish, labeled “Deconstructed Tamales”and the price just doubled except you’d also expect a linen table cloth and a skinny slice of lemon in your water.

You know what the bottom line is here though, don’t you? Sure you do:

That’s the Cheap Bastid Way: Eat Good. Eat Cheap. Be Grateful!

Cheap Bastid's Tempura Night--Kind of Ugly but Really Good

Recently we had a hankering for a “Tempura Night”—you know, tempura battered vegetables and maybe some chicken. So I picked up some rice flour at Frasier’s Farms along with some bell peppers, mushrooms and zucchini (we already had onions).

Now, this is really a simple thing to make and it’s pretty tasty. But, it’s messy with the batter and the deep frying oil. I’m usually reluctant to do much deep frying because of the demands for cooking oil and Cheap Bastid just doesn’t really like to waste a bunch of it on one use. But when you have a “hankering” you’ve just got to honor it.

The photos you’re going to see are mine and they show that the results were just a little bit ugly—but it tasted good and that’s what counts. The batter didn’t coat quite as well as I would have liked, I think for 2 reasons. One is that it might have been a little too runny and the other is that I just used water rather than “soda water” with its carbonation which really does make a difference. (Cheap Bastid didn’t think of it at the store and didn’t want to go back and get some.

Some recipes for tempura batter call for regular flour and some call for rice flour. Some say eggs and some don’t. I’m going to go with TV chef (NPR and FoodTV) Ming Tsai’s recipe which is reproduced in the directions. I figure that he’s as good an expert as you can find, I like his cooking style and I’ve cooked his recipes with great results.

So here’s Tempura Night at our place:

Ingredients:
Batter:
1 ½-2 cups Rice Flour
1 ½-2 cups cold soda water (I think both of these are important. I used just cold water and didn’t care for my results all that much. I’ve used soda water before with great results).

Foods:
½ lb Chicken breast (skinless/boneless)—or shrimp or fish, whatever you’ve got & want
1 red bell pepper
1 jalapeno pepper
1 medium onion
10 1” top fresh white/button mushrooms
1 zucchini

Prep:
Put the rice flour in a bowl then add cold soda water and stir together (don’t add all the water yet). Add water until you have a batter the consistency of pancake batter—not too runny & not too thick but just right.

Cut chicken breast into approximate ¼” x 2” strips. Cut bell pepper, jalapeno and onion into similarly sized strips—about ¼” x 1 ½” strips. (Or you could cut the jalapeno into “rounds” about ¼” thick and leave the seeds inside for just a bit more kick). Cut the onion into small wedges that nest together. Clean the mushrooms with a brush or paper towel to remove the dirt and gunk on the top and bottom. (The reason to do that is that the “dirt” is usually dirt and manure (see you can learn useful stuff from watching “Dirty Jobs”). Trim the stems. Then just toss all the veggies into a medium bowl.

Cooking:
Get out your wok, put it on the stove on medium high and put 2 cups of oil in it. When it’s heated, test it with a little piece of onion dipped in the batter. (If the test piece gets brown immediately, then the oil is too hot and you can drop it down a skosh. Otherwise, you’re good to go).

Put some paper towels down on your platter for draining. Now dip the pieces of veggie and chicken into the batter kind of at random—you know, a piece of chicken, a piece of bell, a mushroom, a piece of zucchini, etc. Don’t get your oil too full of pieces at a time—about 10 or so will do nicely. Settle in, this will take a little while. You can have a second pan/platter that you transfer the food to and pop it into a warm over to keep things warmer.

(This is kind of ugly but it sure tastes good. I forgot to take pics of the veggies until they were half gone and these were from the end when the batter was a bit runny).

When everything’s done, it’s time to eat. You can make a homemade dipping sauce or what we used was some “Lite Asian Sesame with Ginger and Soy” salad dressing by Ken’s Steak House (it’s really good and one of our few “indulgences”).

Now it’s time to enjoy. What we absolutely liked the best were the mushrooms. Man, I could have eaten a bushel of them. Crispy on the outside and then when you’d bite into them it was like they exploded in your mouth with a moist, earthy flavor. The zucchini was really good too. Almost like a “zucchini fry”—and believe me it’s hard to come up with inventive ways to cook zucchini so that it tastes like something. But everything was really, really tasty (it also doesn’t hurt that I put some cayenne into the batter) even if it wasn’t the most beautiful Tempura I’ve ever eaten. And it’s a good, healthy meal. Lots of veggies, just a little meat protein. Give it a try some night.

The Cheap Bastid Test: So does this pass? A large red bell was $.77. The onion about $.50. Zucchini about $.25. Jalapeno about $.10. Chicken was $1.00, mushrooms $.75. The Rice Flour was $1.00 and the oil for the meal was about $.75. Total cost was $5.12. Not real cheap, but it was a treat. Getting this meal in a Japanese restaurant would probably cost about $25 so, yeah, it passes the test (but I have to admit, it barely passes the test because it’s messy, takes a while to prep, cook and clean and uses up 2 cups of oil).

That’s the Cheap Bastid Way: Eat Good. Eat Cheap. Be Grateful!

Cheap Bastid's Classic Spaghetti Carbonara

Here’s a recipe that’s become a favorite when we want a change of pace. This combines several favorite flavors all into this “one dish” meal starting with what is arguably the “superstar” ingredient—bacon. It takes about a half-hour from start to finish and it can be dinner or even a weekend brunch.


Spaghetti Carbonara is a classic Italian dish combining the smokiness of bacon with eggs, parmesan cheese and pasta. You just can’t go wrong with ingredients like that. And it definitely meets the Cheap Bastid criteria.

I checked out a whole bunch of different recipes for this dish. The one I’m using here is, quite frankly, an adaptation of Emeril Lagasse’s version of Spaghetti Carbonara because it’s the simplest. I’ve made a couple of changes (like using 2 eggs rather than 4). So give it a try and enjoy.

Spaghetti Carbonara

Ingredients
½ pound bacon, chopped
1 tablespoon chopped garlic
Freshly ground black pepper
Up to 1 pound spaghetti, cooked al dente
2-4 large eggs beaten
Salt
1 cup Parmigiano-Reggiano or other parmesan cheese
1 tablespoon finely chopped fresh parsley leaves (or dried if that’s all you’ve got)

Directions:
Get out your pasta pot and prepare your salted water (about 2 quarts). Put your pasta pot on medium high to high heat and cook the pasta until it’s al dente. Get out a large sauté pan (or I really like using my wok for this) and cook the bacon until crispy over medium heat. Remove the bacon and drain on paper towels. Pour off all of the oil except for 3 tablespoons. Add the garlic.

Season with black pepper. Sauté for 30 seconds.

Now put the bacon back in the wok and then add the pasta. Sauté for 1 minute. Season the beaten eggs with salt. Turn off the heat an

d add the eggs, whisking quickly until the eggs thicken, but do not scramble. The eggs should blend into the pasta and bacon. I take a pair of tongs and turn, turn, turn the whole mixture to thoroughly incorporate everything. Add the cheese and re-season with salt and pepper and then turn, turn, turn some more. Mound into serving bowls or on plates and garnish with parsley.

This is tasty. With the bacon combined with egg and pasta, it turns into stick to your ribs comfort food. We like to have this with a garden salad so that it’s balanced with some fresh veggies and a bit of acid.


The Cheap Bastid Test: A half pound of bacon costs us $1. 2 eggs are plenty for us in this dish and cost about $.30. We use about ¾ lb of pasta or $.75 worth and quite frankly, we use a small shaker’s worth of parmesan from the Dollar Store for $1. Total cost is $3.05 and it makes enough for supper and a lunch. That means that it’s a skosh over $.75 per serving. Not bad at all. Hey, add another egg and the whole pound of pasta for another $.50 and it’s dinner for 4.


Now, there are those aficionados who will look askance at Cheap Bastid using dollar store parmesan. You are free to use whatever grade of this or any other ingredient you want but I’m not up for spending $3 or $4 on this one ingredient, which while important, would mean that I wouldn’t prepare the dish as often if at all. I can get about 75% of the flavor for about 35% of the price. I’ll take that trade-off.

That’s the Cheap Bastid Way: Eat Good! Eat Cheap! Be Grateful!

Cheap Bastid's Chicken & Dumpling Soup

Cheap Bastid’s thing is to try to cook really tasty food on a tight budget. I like sharing that and maybe getting some other folks whose budgets are pretty tight thinking about food in a different way.

This week we’re talking Chicken and Dumpling Soup. Why? Well, a couple of weeks ago I was looking for something to cook that would provide some left-overs because my work schedule had me working until 8:30 several days in a row. I got rummaging around in both my brain and in the freezer and came up with chicken but wanted to do something different and old-fashioned. I had never cooked dumplings before and wanted to try them to be able to say I have done it and for the flavor and “old fashioned” idea of Chicken and Dumplings.

And in going through the freezer, I came across a couple of freezer bags with some freezer burned chicken legs and thighs. Once upon a time they would have gotten tossed. But I figured that it wouldn’t make any difference because I was tossing them in the slow cooker and making soup. I was right. So here’s another Cheap Bastid, stick-to-your-ribs, old-fashioned recipe that you may just enjoy.

Cheap Bastid’s Chicken and Dumpling Soup
4-5 pieces of chicken (legs, thighs, breast it can still be frozen)
2 cups chopped carrots
1 ½ cups chopped onion
½ cups chopped celery
16 oz chicken broth
3-4 cups water
Garlic
Salt, pepper, cumin, rosemary or thyme
Pancake mix

Directions:
Get out your slow cooker or a dutch oven (whichever you prefer to use). Put it on the stove at medium or turn the cooker on high. Dump in the chicken broth and water, then add the chicken. I also like to add some heartier broth by dumping in 3 or 4 beef or pork broth “ice cubes” that I keep in the freezer. Add salt, pepper, garlic and herbs (dried herbs work just fine). Start chopping your veggies and dump them in when you’ve got them prepped. (All of this is more or less depending on how much veggies you like in your soup).

Now you can relax and let this cook for 2-3 hours. Get the pot simmering—a slow roll works good—and cover the pot. Read the newspaper, watch some TV, whatever. This is going to start smelling good within an hour. After 2-3 hours check the chicken. When it’s about ready to fall off the bone (stick a fork in it and twist—if the meat wants to fall off, then it’s ready). Take the Chicken out of the pot, put it on a cutting board and then remove first the skin and put aside, then the meat from the bone. Toss the skin and the bone and shred the meat then chop it into about ½-3/4 inch pieces. Then toss all that back into the pot and clean up your cutting board. Taste test the soup for flavor. It should be starting to taste real “chickeny” and you should be getting some flavor from both the veggies as well as the seasonings. I really like the way this soup smells while cooking with the combination of chicken, celery and herbs.


Now is the time to leave the cover “cracked open”. This will release steam and let the liquid cook down a bit intensifying the flavor and thickening it a bit. Make sure you’ve got plenty of liquid in the pot so this can happen.

After about another hour of simmering, taste test again. This time it’s to check on the “doneness” of the vegetables. A bit of texture is a good thing—you don’t want “crunchy” and “mushy” is overdone. So, if they’re just a bit “al dente” now would be a good time to prep your dumplings.

I came across a recipe online that suggested using pancake mix for dumplings. That’s good because I didn’t have any “Jiffy” biscuit mix and didn’t have any baking powder to make the dumplings from scratch. The secret is that rather than the 2 to 1 ratio of mix to water that pancakes require, use a 1 ½ to 1 ratio—so that it’s a bit thicker.

Use 2 teaspoons to “drop” the batter into the pot. One to pick up the batter and the other to slide it off into the soup. Cover the whole top of the soup with the dumplings. Turn the heat down so that it’s not bubbling, cover and let it simmer for 45 minutes to an hour until the dumplings are nicely puffed up and bobbing around like pasty, yellowish buoys.

Soups on! It’s time to eat. The dumplings will give the soup a smooth silky texture and provide that something extra that takes a good chicken soup and turns it into something special—Chicken and Dumpling Soup. A fantastic, tasty, home-cooked, comfort food, country-style meal in a bowl.

The Cheap Bastid Test: Well, I should say that old, freezer burned chicken isn’t worth anything but, it was about 1 ½ lbs. of chicken that cost about $2.50 at the grocery store. The veggies cost maybe $1, the broth added about $.50 and I used about $.50 worth of pancake mix. Total for the meal: $4.50. This fed us dinner for 2 nights and lunch for 2 days—a total of 8 meals. That’s stretching a food budget dollar and making something incredibly tasty at the same time. Give it a try. Your family will love it.

That’s the Cheap Bastid Way: Eat Good! Eat Cheap! Be Grateful!

Cheap Bastid's Chimichurri and Tri-Tip

Cheap Bastid got up this morning knowing that there was a post to write. But man, I’m pooped. The last 4 days have been long with most of them spent on my feet. My feet don’t hurt—but my glutes do. Which reminds me of beef. Which reminds me of today’s topic. Which reminds me that this is a tasty, delicious meal.

Originally I was going to do this as 2 posts but I’m rolling it all into one. What we’re doing today is Chimichurri and Santa Maria style Tri-Tip.

If you’re not familiar with Chimichurri, it’s arguably the Argentinean national dish. Chimichurri is an incredible flavorful sauce and marinade. You can use it on beef, pork, chicken but it’s most often associated with beef. You might have to first get past the idea of a green sauce on top of your beef, but once you taste it, you won’t have a problem dipping into it or slathering it on your food. (It might look a bit like a sinus infection but it tastes incredible!) We like it so much we use it for a chip dip.

I first learned about Chimichurri from a guy I used to sell cars with right next to the Mexican border in Chula Vista, CA. Jorge (J.C.) Carranza is Argentinean and a terrific car sales guy and we’d talk about our mutual love of good food during the frequent down time. Did I say “talk”? J.C. is like me and loves to debate and argue so some of our conversations would get pretty spirited.

Now, let’s talk tri-tip for a bit. This is a terrific cut of meat. It’s from the bottom sirloin and is triangular in shape. It’s flavorful and cooked properly is tender and juicy. Santa Maria style tri-tip is usually cooked coated in a seasoning blend of black pepper, garlic and coarse salt and is a fantastic way to prepare the meat. This time, I used Chimichurri as a marinade as well as a sauce. “True” Santa Maria Tri-tip is served with a salsa but who says the salsa has to be red! And, Santa Maria style is also a cooking technique where the meat generally is seared over a red oak fire then cooked indirectly by raising the grill surface until the desired “doneness” is achieved.

OK, so my mouth is now watering with the memory of this tasty dinner I made recently. So, now it’s time to share these 2 simple recipes with you.

Chimichurri


4-6 garlic cloves peeled and minced (I used jarred Gilroy garlic)
1-2 jalapenos seeded
1 “bunch” parsley
1 “bunch” cilantro
¼ cup (appx) chopped onion
2 tbsp lime juice (fresh squeezed is best—add some of the zest too)
¼ cup (appx.) Red wine vinegar
1 cup oil (EVOO or Canola)
Salt & pepper to taste
Heat (Tabasco, cayenne, chipotle, habenero) to taste (optional)

Get out your food processer. Strip the leaves from the cilantro and parsley (you don’t have to be perfect just make sure that the larger stems at the bottom are pulled free or chopped off) and put into the processer. Add about a tablespoon of oil to start and run the processer to chop up the leaves. Add more oil as needed then add the jalapenos, onion, garlic, salt & pepper and process some more. Taste, taste, taste! If you want some more heat, add some Tabasco, cayenne, etc. to taste. This will make a couple of cups or so. You want your Chimichurri to be able to be poured—not too thick but not runny either—just a nice viscous sauce.

Santa Maria Style Tri-Tip
1 lb Tri-tip (they’re usually 2 ½ to 3 lbs)
Chimichurri

Put the Tri-tip in a large plastic freezer bag with about 1 cup or so of the Chimichurri. Shake & squeeze until the Tri-tip is well coated. Put the bag of Tri-tip in the refrigerator on a plate for about 4-6 hours (or even overnight) to marinade.

Set up your grill with a 2-zone fire (hotter on one side than the other). You can do this on a multiple burner gas grill by having one side on high and the other either on low or off depending on the heat your grill throws off. If you’re using charcoal put all the coals on one side. Take the Tri-tip out of the bag and scrape off some most of the marinade with your finger (don’t worry, you can wash your hand—you have to get “intimate” with your food as you cook).

Put the roast on the hottest part of the grill. Sear it for about 4 minutes per side then move it over to the cool side. It’ll be medium rare in about 12 minutes and well done in about 25. (You know your grill and how long stuff takes. This is about a 3 inch thick cut so you have to be a bit patient). I have learned that cooking based on time works best for me on the grill. Flip your meat about every 5-6 minutes for even cooking. Use tongs! Don’t peek, poke or jab between flips. Let it cook.

When done, remove from the grill and let rest for at least 5 minutes and preferably 10. Then slice, put on a platter or plate and drizzle Chimichurri over it—and have some available “on the side” for dipping.

(At the request of Mrs. Cheap Bastid, here's what I would do if I didn't have a grill and were going to do it in the oven--put the marinaded, "scraped" roast in a skillet on the stove top heated to medium high. Sear on each side for about 2 minutes until you get a bit of a crust. Then transfer to a roasting pan (preferrably on a rack & I use foil disposable pans) and put into the oven at 350 degrees. Check at 45 minutes and then every 15 minutes after until you're half a notch from your desired doneness. Remove and let rest at least 10 minutes before slicing).

Have a side of “frijoles” and a salad and some French bread along with it and you’ve got some fantastic eating “Santa Maria style”.

Cheap Bastid Test: You have to look for specials on your meat! The last Tri-tips I bought were on special for $1.99/lb and I got the 2 biggest ones they had. The fixings for Chimichurri are cheap. A bunch of cilantro or parsley is about $.50 each and the other ingredients should be on hand. Total for the whole thing was about $5 for the meat and $1.50 for the Chimichurri sauce. It’s fantastic eating and will feed 4 easily. Assuming 4 for dinner, the cost of this is about $1.75 per person. And we had left-overs for sandwiches too!

That’s the Cheap Bastid Way: Eat Good, Eat Cheap, Be Grateful!

Cheap Bastid's Taters on the Cheap

So, last week I’m checking the grocery specials for Stater Brothers. I do that every week as I’m planning the week’s round of grocery shopping and potential meal ideas. London Broil was on special for $1.88/lb and that was good. But, no soda was on 3 for $10 so Carolyn is going to have to ration her remaining Pepsi products (have you noticed a big spike in soda prices lately? Geez, it’s gotten ridiculous and I’m glad that I rarely drink it).

What got my attention was the special for Ore Ida frozen fries. The ad was offering 20 to 32 ounce bags of Ore Ida fries for $2.99--$1.00 off. Now wait a minute. I buy a 10 lb. bag of potatoes for $2.49. That’s a quarter a pound. These frozen fries are $1.50 a pound—on special. Now, if I go by prices at fast food places, their fries are probably more like $8.00 a pound (I’m guessing that the fries on the dollar menu fries are 2 ounces).

I make roasted fries all the time—mainly because they taste better. In my life I’ve tossed lots of frozen fries onto a cookie sheet and popped them in the oven. So, do you want to save some money? Make your own fries. It’s really easy.

These oven fries (and I like the big, wedgie ones) are really tasty. I do them in the oven and I do them in a pan on my grill too. Your basic frozen fry takes about 20 minutes in a 400-425 degree oven. These take 20-30 minutes at 425—and if you cut them the size of regular fries they’ll be done in 20 minutes or less too. There’s 5 minutes of prep rather than the 30 seconds to cut open the bag and dump the frozen fry on the cookie sheet. But…

The “but” is the big thing. I’m talking 25 cents a pound not $1.50. Do the math. If you make these once a week for a year—a pound each time (and that’s conservative) you can save
$65 a year. That’s real money. For us, it’s a week’s groceries—free. Saving money on your food bill isn’t hard—it’s just common sense.

Cheap Bastid’s Oven Fries (for 2)

3 medium potatoes—about 1 lb
A couple of good glugs of cooking oil
Seasonings
Medium bowl
Cookie sheet

Preheat oven to 425. Rinse potatoes well and pick off any “eyes” that are sprouting (I just use my thumbnail). Pat dry with a paper towel. Cut each potato (using a good chef’s knife with a bit of heft) into 4 quarters--lengthwise once, then rotate 90 degrees and lengthwise again. That’s 4 big wedges, then cut each wedge for a total of 8. If you want regular size fries cut the potato into thirds then cut each of those into about 3/8” strips.

Put cut potatoes into the bowl. Pour a couple of good glugs of oil over them—2 to 3 tablespoons worth. Season the potatoes. Use kosher salt or salt and pepper or some garlic powder and dried parsley or salt and cayenne/chipotle for a bit more kick (I like that hint of heat that cayenne gives). Reach into the bowl with your hand and thoroughly mix potatoes so that they have a light coating of the oil. Now, dump the whole shebang onto a cookie sheet (preheat the sheet of you want but it’s not really necessary) and spread into one layer. Pop into the oven for about 12 minutes if you’re making wedges or about 8 if you’re making fries. Remove from oven and flip the fries over then put them back in for another 8-10 minutes until golden or medium brown.

This is going to make wedge or steak fries that have a crisp outside and are puffy and hot inside. They’re delicious. It might take you a couple of times to get your timing down so they come out the way you want them and not overdone. But, you’ll enjoy the taste. If your kids don’t want them because they’re neither MickyDees nor frozen that’s OK! That means more for you. But, they’ll like them too.

And that’s the Cheap Bastid way: Eat Good, Eat Cheap, Be Grateful.

Cheap Bastid's Carnitas With Salsa Verde

Cheap Bastid hasn’t been around for a couple of weeks. I started a new job and it’s been taking all my energy and attention getting settled in. Plus, I haven’t been cooking as much because more than half the time I work until 8:30 and don’t feel like cooking when I get home.

Plus, last week’s Thanksgiving kind of took all my cooking attention. I developed a couple of new recipes that I’ll share soon. (I created a new Green Bean Casserole recipe that does not require “cream of anything” soup and it’s both easy and good tasting). And, I experimented and came up with a “new for me” pie crust recipe that I hope to try again at Christmas and “perfect” (it’s a “no shortening” recipe because Cheap Bastid won’t spend 3 and a half bucks on a small can of shortening). Here’s a picture of the pie when it came out of the oven.

Last week, I tried a new recipe that I concocted for Carnitas—basically burritos made from shredded pork—with Salsa Verde (green sauce). Now, the first thing you have to do to make Carnitas is to make shredded pork and that’s really simple. Just get a pork shoulder or butt roast at the grocery store when it’s on special (about $1 a pound). Take out your crock pot/slow cooker/dutch oven.

If you want, sear the roast on the grill or in a pan on the stove (I like the grill because the smoke from the high heat searing stays where it belongs—outside). You should be heating up your cooker while doing this and have about 3 cups of water in it. For a little extra flavor, add some beef or chicken stock along with a half cup of chopped onion and some chopped celery.

(I use boxed chicken stock or beef stock cubes that I make by pouring left over liquids from slow cooking a beef roast into ice cube trays and freezing then dropping 2 or 3 cubes into the cooker to get better flavor).

Now add some salt, black pepper and garlic, put the pork roast in the cooker and leave it alone for 4 or 5 hours on medium (just hot enough for the liquid to “roll” a bit). When it’s done, take the roast out of the pot, let it cool for a few minutes and then shred it with 2 forks or with a fork and knife—that’s the “hardest” part of this whole thing.

We used half the shredded pork to make pulled BBQ pork sandwiches and the other half to make the carnitas a couple of nights later. NOW you’re ready for the Carnitas with Salsa Verde recipe and here it is:

Carnitas with Salsa Verde
1-1 ½ lb shredded pork
1 pkg small burrito sized flour tortillas
1 can green enchilada sauce
1 can green chilies
8 oz shredded cheese (cheddar, jack or a mix)
Diced tomato
Shredded lettuce
Sour cream if you want

Put the shredded pork in a medium skillet over medium heat. You shouldn’t need to add oil to it due to the fat in the pork. Bring to heat and check bottom for just a bit of browning (about the same way you’d do hash browns). Then stir and flip for a bit more heating and browning. This will give just a hint of “crust” and “dry” the meat a bit more. Add the enchilada sauce and chilies. This is going to look “wet and mushy” and that’s OK. Turn heat down a bit and let everything simmer together and the sauce reduce down until it’s “dry” enough to spoon on a burrito without saturating the burrito. Taste test while simmering and if more flavor is needed add a bit of salt or garlic and/or some cayenne or chipotle or habanero for a bit more kick.

Have the other ingredients (tomatoes, lettuce, cheese, sour cream) ready. Spoon some of the meat mixture into a burrito, add some tomato and lettuce and cheese and sour cream and enjoy.

This smells fantastic when it’s simmering. It doesn’t look that pretty cooking but that’s the meat with light green stuff simmering in it. There’s a great marriage of the meat and chilies and enchilada sauce that will have your nose happy and your mouth watering. Then, when you’re eating, you’ll really be enjoying the flavor of this simple dish.

So, now for the Cheap Bastid Test. The cost of the meat for this meal is about $1.50 and the chilies and sauce cost about $1.60 at the Dollar Store. The most expensive thing is the cheese which costs about $2.50 for an 8 oz. bag and you’ll use about half a bag. Lettuce and tomato cost about 50 cents. So, the total for this meal is $5.20 and it’ll feed 3 easily. That comes out to $1.70 each. Try getting 2 or 3 Carnitas Verde burritos anywhere for that! Can’t be done.

And that’s the Cheap Bastid Way: Eat Good, Eat Cheap, Be Grateful!